Pity The Heartless

Pity the heartless

wish on them well

Follow not their teachings

for them time will tell

__________________

Echoes of mercy

not for us, but for them

Is the essence of virtue

from which love will stem

__________________

While night is asleep

sunshine will be mine

I'll relight the candle

that made my heart shine

__________________

With that all the demons

once loosed upon me

Be chased back to Hell

and set my soul free

__________________

I can't say if

but I can say when

I'll pickup my good heart

to love another again

 

Tate

Available Now	Available Now

Author's Note

There was a time when my heart was cold as ice. Long before I remarried and had recovered my life. But I found bitterness too hard a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully time marched on and the better angel of my nature took control of my heart leading me to happiness again. When I first wrote this poem I was so deeply distressed. That day I decided to make of my life something new. Tonight while thinking on those days I went through my thousands of pictures and gave my exwife those that I thought she should have. A peace offering I suppose. Though after a few drinks I have to admit the song from Iris Dement had me laughin so hard. That because it is not human nature to let go pain and grant forgiveness. However I shall try not to dwell on past misery. I am trying very hard to let go the hard thoughts and swim in the river of forgiveness and grace. To those few people whom I loved and who dared to love me.
Thank you!

By the way just imagine the genders are reversed in the song above.

Reviews

[MichelleClay]

Loved this one also Tate. Again I can relate to it with situations in my own life. I spent far to many years of my life being angry and bitter at others unable to forgive them. To hate was so draining, being angry and unhappy. I too started to pity those who have no heart and realised I was losing my own. Now I try to forgive those who hurt us, as it is not my place to punish them. The universe has a plan for us all. X

[Tate Morgan]

I know this is a sorrow you have had as well .i hope you havbe come to a better place as I have finally

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Tate,

Loved your piece. Let me put my two cents in on this debate, i.e., whether to forgive and whether there are those that are not worth forgiving, etc.

In my view, forgiving someone is more a statement of who YOU are and not who they are. You forgive to get personal release from a situation and not to release others from that situation. So forgiveness, even though outwardly it seems selfless, is really not. It is to make yourself satisfied and to allow yourself to move on.

Now whether you should cut short an unproductive relationship, like that of your daughter's. is an entirely different concern. Your daughter was forgiving at each step so that she could accept selfish and uncaring action and more on, but if she's moving on to a continuing pointless situation, this is not productive. She is being unrealistic and foolish. She needs to terminate the situation (as she finally did), forgive him one last time because he can't help himself and he is beyond any hope of changing, and then move on. The forgiving has nothing to do with knowing that this situation will not improve. Those are two separate things and that has to be understood. Forgiving is not a substitute for knowing when things won't work out.

So Tate, in your situation with your wife, if I may be allowed to comment, you have to accept that this was a relationship that couldn't (or didn't) work for one reason or another. You were two different people that couldn't make it work. She couldn't make it work and you couldn't make it work. For whatever reason there wasn't enough there for either of you to keep the relationship alive. Is she at fault? Are you at fault? I would wager that both of you gave it a serious go. I suspect that neither of you set out to fool the other and then blow up the relationship. You both are who you are and this just didn't work. That's the understanding you needed and come to, and that is why it was terminated. (I'm simplifying, of course!)

Now, human emotions are a complicated thing. With love there are major parts of your being invested in the relationship. When this doesn't work is it a major emotional disaster and there is depression, guilt, anger. A whole slew of emotions come to play. Forgiveness is the way to move forward. While your forgiveness can be healing for her it is even more healing for you, and it is healing for you even if she remains bitter. It is a deep emotional exhale. It is the recognition that there are still parts of her that you love even in the knowledge that it can't and didn't work. It is the recognition that it is not her fault that it didn't work, and it's not your fault either. It was just not to be. Big exhale, Tate. Release and move forward without grief and anger. After all, you would not be where you are today had you not taken this path in your life. Everything has molded you into who you are.

All my best wishes, my friend. I know you are a deeply feeling person. Forgiving is the best gift you can give to yourself and the world. It is a powerful and empowering act.

Rick

[Tate Morgan]

You Know Rick I am alright with things as they are .I am happy and married and secure.I wasnt the right person for My ex.I am glad now that it has ended because i am much happier than i was the last few years of my first marriage,Granted there is a great amount of emotion invested in a relationship of 20 yrs.I forgive anything I did that was out of character.,But she doesnt want forgiveness So io gave her the pictures in the hope it would ease the tension that she exibits toward Tater and i . She has more financially but unlike me she has never known happiness. I wish her well and hope she grows.But Iam not her father and i cant let her poison our lives anymore.If she reciprocates in kind Ill get back some of the albums and othings stolen from our home If not well i made the effort but i wont go on and on with her as my daughter did beating a dead horse. I am happy hope she gets happy .I think she has always resented my inner happiness that to her is unfounded. things dont bring happiness Love does.

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Tate, seems to me you have moved on both emotionally and intellectually. You have "forgiven" in the sense I was defining it. I'm glad you are past this pain and are in a better place, grant it that issues will continue to come up occasionally. All the best, Tate.

[N!LoC]

this is a good lesson for me to remember... :-)

[Tate Morgan]

thank friend

[The Scholar]

This was a very personal and beautiful piece. Always a pleasure reading your writing. I know you disagree, but to me forgiveness is so much more real and beautiful when it is given to people who don't deserve it, who don't feel responsible for it. It may be less easy to forgive someone who is not apologetic, but that's the beauty of it. It's a hard thing to do, but it's worth it.
Anyway, that's my two cents. Loved your poem still! Have yet to read one I didn't enjoy deeply.

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you I appreciete that. I have a daughter who believes as you do. She had a boyfriend who constantly verbally abused her and took advantage of her leaving her emotionally and financially dreained. She is a christian and told me i was wrong top ask that she stop feeding his narcicism with kindness. It fueled him to the point he was a nightmare.There are evil people and they feed off what they see as a weakness.This because a conscience is a learned behaior and they dont have one. Finnally she stopped after he had completely worn her out and taken all he could.Then she said to me I cant understand it the kinder i was the worse he got.There is the reason I believe what I do

[Lena M. P.]

Just remember, it is the good and the bad in life that builds us into who we are. It is with forgiveness, not forgetting, that we are able to move on and become whole again.

[Tate Morgan]

So true but i do not ascribe to the idea thaty forgiveness is a blank check.i grant it to those who contritely ask for it.If that happens i will

[Lena M. P.]

I disagree. Whether they deserve my forgiveness is not here or there. I make peace so that I can find peace. It is for the almighty to judge not I. I have wronged others myself. I would hope that my pain I caused would not ruin someone forever, but they can shrug me off as a mistake and move on.

[Tate Morgan]

I dont judge her i simply see no reason to offer what she does not deserve or want. Forgiveness is a gift and no to be given to someone who doesnt feel responsible

[Sheila Kline]

There are times when it seems impossible to let go of a past relationship, forgive, and move on, but it is wonderful to know you have!! Some people just are not meant to be together, but I believe in soul mates, and it seems as if you have now found yours!
May you look back at the past with knowledge of what you have today, and realize how very blessed you are!!

[Tate Morgan]

i am blessed to have rebecca and to have you as my friend!!

[David Lewis Paget]

The end of a relationship is always hard, Tate, and spawns bitterness. It's easy to say walk away, and don't look back, but who can? It sometimes takes years to overcome those feelings, and they only damage ourselves. You were fortunate to find a new love in your life, and stick with her.

[Tate Morgan]

Oh I am And believe me I am happy .Happy enough that i actually gave my ex pictures i thought she should have .However I look back and think I can live what happened i just think I would be a fool to grant forgiveness when its not asked for, So this isnt the first breakup I ever had by any means. In 4 yrs i havent had the first cross word with my wife Becky Yet to this day I cant be in the same room with my ex without an argument.Some people are not good together SHe and i shoulda parted many many years ago. I brought some of this on by not taking my own advice and ending it way earlier .But now t is water under the bridge and daisies all over the field in the life of Beck and I Happiness can be mione without granting blanklet forgiveness and that is where I am Happy but a bit more causious, I reposted this piece from yrs ago because I was thinking about it the other night when I gave the pics away .Its been a long road .But I have good company and I tread a new road now

[spiritwind]

"I'll relight the candle
that made my heart shine"
Beautiful expression~~beautiful image
To get back to this state of being
requires forgiveness of those who've wronged us
and that is a harrowing row to hoe.
I accomplished it once
but that didn't help me hoe that other row.
I figure senility will do that.
Good piece~~You always provoke thought.

[Tate Morgan]

Well this is an earlier piece that lacks a format But was intensesly personal .However Forgiveness is a fickle beast And I try but I cant grant it blanketed It has to be asked for

[Marie]

You are right about letting go. Grudges hurt ono one but those who hold them. I really like that song.
It took me 7 years to stop hating my ex-husband; 10 more to stop indulging in fantasies where I said all the things I should have thought of at the time.
I'm better off now. And so, it seems, are you.

[Tate Morgan]

I dont like the idea of blanket forgiveness Unless the person is mental.But in this case she is cognative and cruel.So for me I owuld walk away but i9 have children So I try to make peace .That doesnt mean it will happen.If she doesnt meet me half way It wont happen

[Marie]

My ex-husband and I have found a way to be friends, mostly because of our daughter. And I am glad.

[Tate Morgan]

SAME

[Pax]

i always like a poem with a big story behind it... which speaks volume in such short verses... i have said to myself: I would say release and forget… don’t let it built up for too long… that it has a tendency to grow cold. Well painful times has its lessons to be learn its either you learned it the hard&long way that leads to a darker road or the easy&short way that leads to a lighter road. Writing your pain makes us realized something right, and you did something good you let go and relight the candle of your life... Awesome piece mr. Tate!

[Tate Morgan]

For my own sake i cleans my soul of its part and as for hers I put that away and hope it becomes a better feeling in the future