Smiles

Read of a simple man's work

one of meter and of rhyme

Whose tired footsteps echo

down the corridors of time

 

A torrid tale of longing

left by walks in thought and pain

Written for your reverence

not for authors only gain

 

For I'm a humble poet

of no specialty nor skill

Who sees the distant longing

of the child upon the hill

 

With days of constant labor

and long nights devoid of ease

I've seen the tops of mountains

Where the gods play as they please

 

Through haze and smoke deliver

my pen light upon the page

Records the music playing

from every day and age

 

To watch the gentle snowflake

alight soft on a child’s tongue

Releasing awe and wonder

of innocence in the young

 

While we the aged wonder

of moments no one could tell

Given no more to dreaming

our thoughts of where we last fell

 

For time is but an echo

of our loves felt, known and lost

Memories of our lives past

which were paid at such a cost

 

Let fly your soul immortal

stop to watch your children play

Their smiles define man's beauty

more than life could ever say

 

  

Author's Note

When we dream is it not the playful longings of the child upon the hill? Do those dreams not define our life's search and desires?

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

Oh God Mr Tate..i was so honored to review this masterpiece..
I would not expect nothing less from you..you know as i read it
I was like on a stage and you asked me to read it out loud
how exquisitely lovely it will come..i swear ..i felt it like a sypmphony
each group of words sounded like they were so high in pitch and then it got low
how you dessicate life and time ,how you humble yourself..God you were made for poetry
those tired footsteps down the lane of time telling tales of pain and ache and tired bones
its a constant labor and long and lonely nights still i stood on top of mountains where God used to play
my words though so hazed they would light a hundred miles from here to eternity and yet more
time only told how love was felt and lost ,lives lived and passed and just at what cost
what loveliness..great symphony from beginning to end..true master poet you are my friend
lovely write..

[Lilly]

Incredible poem here. Sensitive beautiful and loving - loved this stanza:
"For I'm a humble poet
of no specialty nor skill
Who sees the distant longing
of the child upon the hill"

[Thorn]

This was beautiful.

I did feel, however, that one of the stanzas didn't quite fit.



"While we the aged wonder

of moments no one could tell

Given no more to dreaming

our thoughts of where we last fell"

The last line seems to have one too many syllables. Still, it might be just the way I'm reading it.
This was still a very beautiful piece of work. Well done!

[Manda]

o wow this was amazing! one of your best pieces i have read of yours. it was really deep and a lot of emotions were in it as well. you are very talented keep it up!

[MusicJunkie66]

This is an example of what life is all about. Terrific job!!!

[Abhinav]

i would be lying if i said this poem didn't touch a chord in my heart.
absolutely amazing again:)))
i liked the rhyming scheme (last letter of the 2nd sentence and last letter of the last sentence).Its what I usually do in my poems.
this poem was deep, meaningful and very very nice to read
needless to say, loved it

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a wonderful statement making poem. I believe the best writers write for they truly love it. Not for the money making aspects of it. The best poems come from the heart. The "simple man" has many wonderful and beautiful things to write about for they see splendor in many different places and in the little things in life. This poem is amazing. When reading this poem it is like the narrator of it is standing in front of you having a conversation. A deep thought provoking poem.

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Mr. Tate,

It is my apology for not returning to the cafe sooner to check up, so I'm quite behind; but I'd love to review this for you. You're right. Long reviews do take quite a bit to write. I do love writing them though. Sometimes I just take up too much time in an introductory paragraph.

The poem's message speaks out personally as I've lived in places where the town was dead, not because nobody inhabited it's 30, 000 population walls, but because there was never a smile. A lot of soul went into writing this, especially in paragraphs 5-7. One of your greatest talents is probably the ability to express yourself while being able to keep it in structure, keeping it clear, keeping it concise.

There is a few things I would look at: adding comma's where they're needed. That is perhaps the only criticism I can give while viewing this. In the last paragraph - first line, there needs to be a comma there to signify a break of thought, but connect them. I can see in other places where you didn't add grammatical figures simply because it'd break flow.

If not even, these are just small things to look at but do not reflect your rating. You are a writer beyond words. Thank you, Tate. 10/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Gary McDonald]

I think at this point, there's little I can add.
You have a most remarkable gift with words, and this is an exquisite piece.

[Samuel Dickens]

A terrific picture of a beautiful child, acompanied by a wonderful song, your words are sensitive and loving. It is a hard heart that doesn't melt at the sight of an innocent child's smile.