Fate

For when could I say that i believed I was such a treasured soul

 

Lucy Hamilton

 Princess of Ireland

When could I say that I believed

I was such a treasured soul

To give up the life you've conceived

for a chance at half not whole

 

Having tasted the nectar of life

who can say they would pass it on

For years full of trouble and strife

filled with all of what was, now gone

 

Life wasn't meant to cost so much

that you pay for your love in tears

I couldn't bear it to be such

that I cost you unhappy years

 

Many a night I looked up in awe

to the sweet sky above my head

Longing to be that star you saw

to hear the wistful things you said

 

So now I lie in wait for dawn

watching the stars all twinkle out

Dreaming of things that were, now gone

we never thought we’d live without

Author's Note

To Lucy Hamilton of Ireland. Brightest star in the Northern sky.

Reviews

[the_stoic]

the closing stanzas mesmerised me ... bravo sir

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Lovely indeed - such sweet meanderings...thoughtful and poignant.
Light,
Siddartha

[Maria F. Rojas]

sweet, i can feel the music in my head by reading this. great job :)

[Ishgnu]

Oh Tate, this is just beautiful. The sentiment , *sigh*. Your poetry is soothing and rhythmically perfect, like a lullaby. Do you write music and songs as well?

[Liza]

oh the longing of what could be....of what was and didn't make it....beautifully said of the regrettable

[Austin Smith]

"We never thought we'd live without."
This is an excellent way to close the poem, Tate. I can definitely sense a personal connection between you and this poem. I can't wait until I may have some experiences like yours.
There were no spelling errors.
The imagery was beautiful; making it into a conversation was a +, on your part. Bueno Trabajo, Tate!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Writing in rhyme is much harder than writing without rhyme. you did so well in this poem. flowed, and the imagrey is wonderufl. thanks for sharing.

[Alicante lullaby]

such a lovely paradox.reality and dream...a truely dreamwake feel here.

[Kristen]

Loved this, keep up the good work!