Tin Man

it is such a strange thing to be human

 

 

I hear the rhythm of the rain

wind-whipped drops falling to the ground

Tapping on the old window pane

there's music in that lonesome sound

 

Skipping through the morning shower

daisies covered by mist in dew

Calm and warm so tame with power

life springs forth all fresh and anew

 

Watching the world's sins melt away

gifting life with the chance to be

Feeling the sun light up the day

washing the blues away from me

 

Like the man built solely from tin

with a chest full of broken dreams

The rain falls softly on my skin

nothing quite the way that it seems

 

Watching the clouds that turn to rain

falling on the glass by and by

They run down from the window pane

before the grace of you kneel I

 

Author's Note

Such a metaphor for my own life the tin man. Often I am right as rain. Moments later set by depression and doubt. Then the rain comes washes away the blues and I am fine again. The sun comes up and shines upon me again.All my worries pale in consequence.
Tate

Reviews

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate, After having a break I find this easier too read...Sometimes when you have been working n your own work it's hard to get into a different rhyme, so my fault not yours! I was going to add to my original comment but it seems it has been deleted?!

[Tate Morgan]

Hi dear. I suppose your trouble with the rhyme is the first stanza the one and only time i can remember using a similar rhyme .

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate,
Yes I think it is, how about around/round instead of down?

[Tate Morgan]

I like that see what you think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Yes! That is so much easier to read now! Really flows and takes you straight into the rest of it

[Tate Morgan]

thank you you were correct i think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Don't rely on me! do what you think is right, I have been working on several pieces of writing recently and it can get stuck in your head sometimes!

[Tate Morgan]

I like your thoughts and respect your opinion. You are classically educated through the English system .

[Stephen Scaggs]

It's a well written poem and I like the song choice picked. I also think Tin Man by the band America would have been an excellent choice for a song. Anyways, this is a good reflection of honesty - often we look too much at the bright side of life, and never toward the horrifying parts of life. I don't think it's bad to be always optimistic but I think it is bad to not be at all pessimistic. Anyways, I really enjoyed this piece. I don't usually write my long reviews like I do anymore, but I was touched by this poem that I had to read and review it. It's really beautiful, as many have previously said before. I understand the metaphors used from a personal standpoint. "As I watch the drops of rain weave their weary paths and die They roll down from my window pane there before the grace of you go I" were my favorite set of lines towards the bottom of this piece of writing. Especially the final line "before the grace of you go I" because it reminds me of an old saying. 9.8/10.

Well written, friend,
S. W. Scaggs

[Antonio Valentino]

This rain, like a baptism for the sky, this purging, a purification, it absolves and cleanses the dust of our deficiencies and gluttony for the next of smile anew doesn't it.

We just have to annoint ourselves with the balm of content, to deter the rust to our own mettle.

Lest we only fall apart.

Fine write young man.
Antonio

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Better to be the tin man than the scarecrow! lol nice piece here.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

You author's note is something very important to remember! What I like very much about your writing is there is almost always a wonderful moral to the poetry. Nicely penned.
Light,
SiddARTha

[Ecros Lathes]

I like the poem as well as the pictures of the tin man good movie and especially good write.:)

[Star Wolf]

sad and positive at the same time.

[Tina Kline]

Sadly, this sounds just like so many people's lives. It goes from one extreme to the other. I guess we can only hope the good sunny times come more often than the dark depressive days. This is a really well written poem.

[Lilly]

Beautiful metaphor - and I am sure so many people identify with it (and this poem), I know for one that I do.
Wonderful piece.

[Poeticpiers]

An extended metaphor which could apply to almost every one my friend. Life is a mix of sunshine and shadows
It does not take much to turn grey skies blue