I love her

A love poem.

When i look above,
i see sky holding the stars.
For all,
moon seems miles away,
much distant and far.
But my moon is standing,
beside me
Natural, beautiful, my fantasy.

O ye O ye
she is my pretty queen
my heartbreaker, heartmaker
everything she is.
Fighter, lover, medicine, my healer
sparkler, sweeter, thriller and I feel

I love her,
she is in my beautiful memories.
Stuck in my heart,
written in the stars
her name with me.

Author's Note

Thanks for read and review.

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

I have some suggestions for you to improve on your grammar in this piece, but it's up to you to pay heed or not. I only wish to help :).

First stanza, line one and line two:
When I "look" above,
"I see" sky holding the stars

First stanza, line seven:
Beside me (omit "of")

Stanza two, line four:
Everything "she is"

Stanza two, line five and six:
"My" fighter, lover, medicine, "healer,"
sparkler, sweeter, thriller"," and I feel

Otherwise, no other suggestions I can come up with. It is a very sweet ode to one's love. A lovely serenade to sing (it sounds like one anyways!).

[armin]

Thankyou Nadia ,I'll definitely consider your suggestions.

[MsJewel]

One word....Lovely!

:) Julie

[armin]

Two words.. . Thank you :):)

[Deepika]

A cute poem! I like it :)

[armin]

Thankyou.. .

[Jamestown]

Very nicely done, I feel the love,thanks for sharing.

[armin]

Thankyou for your read.

[Michael G.]

A lovely poem. Clearly, you write with your emotions on your sleeve. Well done.

[armin]

Thankyou so much for your visit sir :).

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A talented piece that gathers emotion well, one to re-read to swell the heart, well done, good read.

[armin]

Thanxxiii. .

[wordman]

you light up my life
you light up my heart
you shine as the moon within my heart

[Amaira]

nicely penned!
gr8 work..

[Emily]

I love this poem!
My favorite of yours!
Keep it up!

[armin]

Thanks Emily, glad you loved it.

[Workvio]

Very sweetly romantic ... I enjoyed this piece of your heart penned to page ...

[armin]

Thanks Marvin sir for visiting again to my page. I appreciate that.