Wrong Direction

Lacking return

This bitter sweet love

Enslaving her spirit

Stealing self control

Helpless in nature, she’s begging for more

Broken is the heart

Obsessive is the mind

Changing her from woman

To dotish little girl

She’s stuck, glued to the floor

Begging for relief

Longing for his touch

Confused in mentality

Foolish with her gifts

She’s giving, losing self respect

Affection, she’s seeking

Attention of wrong sort

A lesson unlearned

This pursuit of devotion

She seeks self esteem from other imperfect souls

Lacking perspective

She fails to comprehend

This feeling so longed for

Is right within reach

If only she’d grasp it, and hand it to herself

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[anne]

A beautiful writing style with strong emotions...beauty...:))

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[ManasaC]

A facile poem depicting strong emotion... Loved it!!!

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Love the message, many of us have been in that predicament at one time or another. The form is very creative as well. Nicely penned!

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
powerful words.....
hopelessness lined with silver hope......beautiful message indeed.
brilliant writing again......
i loved it!!!
:)

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Rana]

A simple, brief and well-written poem with the perfect words and description. I like how you follow each four lined stanza with a longer line. That's a nice little message you've conveyed in the last lines; many can relate to the emotion and the state you've so beautifully described. Also, you've really been missed around here.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much :D It's nice to know I've been missed.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Nice to see you after a long time, very nicely written work, simply a beautiful work

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Rocans]

Hmmm. Wow Briana, this one was poignant. While reading this, your short concise lines reminded me of what poetry is all about...an assemblage of words to pack a punch conveying meaning and eliciting emotions. I thought your second stanza stood out. Quite a strong write this with a positive message behind it. Thanks for sharing.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you very much :D

[AaronFreitas]

"Affection, she’s seeking
Attention of wrong sort
A lesson unlearned
This pursuit of devotion
She seeks self esteem from other imperfect souls"

I really like that stanza... a creative piece with a lot of powerful words in there. Awesome write!

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you very much :D

[R Smith]

tough words Briana and really good to see you after so long, the longing for love knows no limits when it comes to how far we will go to find it, a really great poem see's you right smack bang here on the Cafe, lovely work my friend :)

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you. ya when i get in a phase I neglect a lot of things. decided to make an appearance and do some reading today and as I was reading this popped in my head. thank you for reading :D

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong and powerful words leading to a very good ending.
"Lacking perspective
She fails to comprehend
This feeling so longed for
Is right within reach
If only she’d grasp it, and hand it to herself"
I tell people. You can't find love. Love will find you. Last line is true wisdom. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.