Stranger, Would You Mind?

A message of a spellbound girl to a stranger.

Stranger, would you mind?

If I take the honored seat
     Next to your glorious throne?
Would you grant me the privilege
     Of breathing divine air as yours?

Stranger, would you mind?

If I dip my fervent fingertips
     Into your sea of golden locks?
Would you allow a mere mortal
     To caress your face carved like a cherubim?

Stranger, would you mind?

If I dare steal a kiss
     Just to taste heaven from your lips?
Would you accept my willing soul
     And take me now as your own?

Stranger, would you mind?

If you command your celestial crowd
     To suspend forever in this moment?
Would you trade your divinity
      And stay in this city bus with me?

Author's Note

Just another attempt in free verse. This poem was inspired when I was in a bus, sitting next to a gorgeous guy. :x

Reviews

[Douglas White]

Raging hormones, poet style. Gotta love it.

Blue, this was actually good free verse. Nice clarity in the descriptions without rambling or becoming dull, and getting the feeling across quite well. You did manage somehow to give the "stranger" a distinctly masculine feel without description. Very nicely done there.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks a lot, Douglas. Your reviews humble me. :x

[Hester Vane]

I think we've all felt like this, man and woman, about a gorgeous stranger! Great piece.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Hester! :x

[nibhz]

nice attempt! a totally different kind of poem!

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Nibhz! :x

[Sue]

We have all been there - and what would happen if you said what was going on in your head - a sweet poem :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

He would definitely freak out. LOL. Thanks, Sue! :x

[rutherford]

Enjoyed the theme and the descriptions. You've tapped into something I often wonder about in a surreal way-- what if you completely opened your feelings to a stranger. Other themes of loneliness and intimacy.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Hmmm, I would never open these feelings to a stranger.. Ha, but indeed, what if we pour out out sentiments/problems to a random stranger? I'm curious on what would happen next...

Thanks, Rutherford! :x

[wordwarrior]

Beautiful indeed. I love the imagery and flow of this. It made me smile and sigh. It's amazing how a simple meeting or a place where we are walking can evoke such amazing poetry.
Wonderful writing and great free verse.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Writers are best inspired by the ordinariness of random moments. Thanks, Wordwarrior! I'm looking forward to reading some of your writings soon! :x

[Rita L. Sev]

A sweet fantasy, inspired by a simple bus ride. Well done free verse - though I would never ask a stranger anything on a Philly bus! :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Haha, indeed. Thanks a lot, Rita! :x

[Mark]

ya know, chances are he was thinking the same thing only too shy to do anything about it. LOL very nice write. :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

This had me laughing, Mark. Someone like him would never be enchanted by the my ordinariness. :) Thanks a lot!

[Mark]

We think that way... we all do. Years later I've discovered several women who I was attracted to but tbought would never be attracted to me, actually were.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Good for you! But no surprises there. You are good-looking, Mark. Have a great weekend! :x

[Mark]

well thank you, but I'll tell you, when I was young I had no idea. I thought I was just kinda okay. nothing special.

[Mark]

women do that too??? LOL very nice write. :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Yes, of course! More than men do, I think. :X

[MsJewel]

One of the hardest things about writing a freeverse poem is getting the words to flow effortlessly...and you did just that! This is lovely (as I'm sure was the guy on the bus ;)
A pleasure to read!
Julie

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks, Julie! :x