Portrait of Loneliness

Loneliness

 

A forgotten plate of cold baked chicken

Last few pebbles at the bottom of the barrel

Butt of her cigarette thrown

Imprints of hot red lipstick still moist

Trembling lace curtain

You withdraw from the glass pane

Empty mailbox’s lid gaping

Embarrassingly

Seals of envelopes so old

They stuck together

Useless

 

Author's Note

Written for Tovli's contest

Reviews

[J.P. Bristow]

I really enjoyed this work....you captured your title within your choice of words....cold baked chicken and cigarette thrown great imagery here....really well done. I wonder though if the second last line should read instead of "They stuck together" as "they stick together" or "They are stuck together"....I don't know everything flowed except that line its stuck or sticking for me? to me?

[Silver_Moon]

so direct that i could feel easily the loneliness... :(

good work! :D

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh wow what a brilliant and creative look at loneliness, it gets straight to the point.

[!!..Love..!!]

Wow! This is great and so dark, I also love to read poems like this! You are very talented!

[kurrupted]

Wow! i love this piece, its short but encompassing, thought provoking and hmmm! multi facet.
it also depicts the writer's versatility in using different views to describe the feeling. believe me loneliness is an aching state.nice write and good luck in the tovli contest.

[Lori]

Such an effective collection of images, and piling them together really hits the reader with the despair and loneliness of a lonely person who doesn't see her own value or place in the world.

[Lily1111]

I love all of the images of loneliness that you conjured up in this poem. But the line that really jumped off the page at me was: "Empty mailbox's lid gaping." That conveys so much in so few words. Wonderful!

[Rachel DeHart]

This is amazing. :]
I really like the intense imagery.

[Helena]

Very nice indeed! Images of "Loneliness" so very strong and well penned.
Thank you for submitting this wonderful poem to "Keeping the Dream Alive" contest.

~ Helena ~

[Samuel Dickens]

I don't know anything about the contest, but the poem sure gave me a feeling of emptiness and despair. Your wording is most effective, Laura.