Shhhh

Shhhh

A Story by The_Breakdown

That sound, what is it? Your heart thumps louder and louder as the sound gets closer. Someone is breathing heavily, stepping carefully toward your dark room. You cower in the corner, helpless, trying to stay as quiet as possible, hoping it won't find you. The door screams as it is pushed open, slowly. A dark shadow falls across the floor, blocking most of the light from the hall. It is not human. You can tell right away by its shadow. It shuts the door, blocking the light. Its yellow eyes are shining brightly, but you notice that there are no pupils. Pure yellow. What is it? Its dagger-like fangs glimmer in the darkness. You imagine them tearing into your flesh, ripping you apart while you scream for mercy. A whimper escapes your mouth, alerting the creature to your location. It quickly swings around to directly face you. Tears roll down your face, silent but telling. It walks on its long, thick legs to you, slowly, and brushes the tears from your face. You swear you see it smile with pleasure. Those disgusting yellow, glowing teeth. Its breath holds the scent of blood, a recent kill. 
You try to think of something happy, to make the moment go by faster, more painless, but you can't take your eyes away from this beast. It chokes you with fear, but it is fascinating at the same time. Your heart picks up speed and you begin to think it may burst out of your chest. Faster, still it beats, almost the the point where it's painful. Sobs rack your body, and choked pleas escape you throat. A rumble emits from the creature. You open your mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. It growls again and strokes your cheek with its enormous hand; the claws tear part of the skin on your cheek, and you feel blood dripping down your face. It repeats its actions on the other side and makes symmetrical cuts. 
You begin to think that this creature has a degree of mercy and gentleness, but then it throws you effortlessly across the room, head first. Your head hits the wall, leaving a gaping hole. In a daze, you try to stand up, only to be knocked down again. Before you could even open your eyes again, a searing pain in your stomach makes you writhe and kick. The beast screams at you for kicking it in the nose, and you open your eyes to watch in awe as its huge mouth opens, its huge teeth bared. Somehow, you find it beautiful, though it's killing you. You begin to understand, in a dark way, that this is what needs to happen. He is hungry. He needs food too. You open up to him, and he sees this. He touches your face gently, and immediately resumes feeding on your insides. This time you don't fight, you don't feel pain. Everything becomes numb. Nothing is felt except for the warm tears still running down your face, stinging the cuts they run over. 
Soon everything is black. It's over. Where to go, what to do. Blackness. Nothing. But you don't feel panicked, because that would be impossible. You are nothing. You don't have feelings anymore. Just...what to do...where to go...what to do...where to go...nothing...blackness...

© 2013 The_Breakdown


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Reviews

Woah....oh my gosh, this is amazing!!! The details, the emtion, the suspense is SO GOOD! XD Very very nice job, girl! What a great thiller! ^-^

Posted 7 Years Ago


EverleafOwl

7 Years Ago

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!! XD LOVE our group!
The_Breakdown

7 Years Ago

me tooo!!! its sooo fun but i get no work done lol!
EverleafOwl

7 Years Ago

Lol tots agree!!! XD But its sooooo AWESOME!
I would honestly like to read this written in first or third person. Some people think that second person is meant to actually bring the reader in but really it's only a distraction. You have a very nice sense of pace though and your imagery leaves enough to the imagination. Again though I think this could be way better in first or third. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


The_Breakdown

7 Years Ago

Thanks for the suggestion! You know, i was actually thinking about that when i started it and while .. read more
Taliaa Delune

7 Years Ago

Please do! ILike I said- I'd luike to read. Plus who knows writing from a different perspective may .. read more
The_Breakdown

7 Years Ago

Yeah. i might even decide to write ann actual book type thing with a plot. this was just a weird ide.. read more

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Added on March 20, 2013
Last Updated on March 20, 2013
Tags: scary, horror, freaky, creepy, strange, weird, good, interesting

Author

The_Breakdown
The_Breakdown

Rochester, NY



About
I love to read and write, although i haven't had much time lately, so i'm just getting back into the world of writing. My stories aren't too good, i have lots of room to improve, but hopefully I'll ge.. more..

Writing