Devil

There was a little girl

Thought she saw the devil

Thought she didn't understand

What was going to happen

 

Fear all around

Even on the ground

People shouting real loud

There was such a crowd

 

There was a little girl

Thought she saw the devil

Left torn apart, sad and all alone

What did she do so bad?

 

Fell asleep, but woke up

Thought it was a dream

That could both be real

 

There was a little girl

Thought she saw the devil

Curled up in the corner, only to find

The worst thing on her mine

 

Photo on the flood

Should have ran out the door

Still she didn't understand

What the hell just happened

Reviews

[Freyziee Fiction]

It definitely flows nicely and I like the repetition of 'There was a little girl...', I think it managed to link the whole poem together. Some minor errors on the spelling, but that doesn't affect it greatly. Otherwise, an emotional piece of work. :)

[-Scribe in Style-]

In a weird and round about way it kinda reminds me of the movie 'Inception' - never quite know which level you are standing on.
It is a good piece. Be careful with your spelling. It kills the flow. But well written.

I really like this. Not helpful, i know, but i really did.

[TJ]

Syllables get a little funny in this one and there are some minor spelling errors. Aside from that I think it flows well and is quality writing! Though I think it went over my head a bit