A New Time

Time...
will it make me feel better?
After the death of my spouse and loved one?
To tell the truth, time alone will not make you feel better.
What you DO with the time is what will shape your path and your life.

Give time to your memories;
remember the beautiful, the horrible,
the good, the bad, the ugly, the wonderful, the miserable.

Give time to your tears;
cry out in sorrow, pain, rage, frustration,
profound love, utter desolation, despair, and sheer exhaustion.

Give time to your love;
the love you two shared still dwells within you.
Remember the beauty of that love and all that came with it.
Cherish it, embrace it, and open your heart to its ever-changing nature.

Give time to your pain;
it is real, it is unimaginable, it is inescapable.
Listen to the pain, scream at it, scream with it.
Don't let it control your life, but don't deny its existence.

Give time to yourself ;
allow yourself time to be alone in this
unbearable new world you have entered.
Everything you thought you knew has been erased;
you have to discover everything,  including yourself, all over again.

Give time to your voice;
express your sorrow and loss and love in whatever language comes to you.
Speak through words, music, art, cooking, gardening, running, photography.
Give voice to your feelings and thoughts lest they build up and destroy you from within.

Give time to your silence;
in the darkest, quietest hours comes the deepest healing, the sweetest hope.

Give time to time itself.
There is never enough time.
Every year you had together, every day, every moment -- was a pure gift.

Treasure the past, give thanks for it,
and let it give strength to your present,
so that one day -- with time -- you can begin to imagine a new time, a new future.

Reviews

[Carole]

You really hammered a valuable truth here in response to healing from the death of a spouse being more than just time, Brenda : "To tell the truth, time alone will not make you feel better. What you DO with the time is what will shape your path and your life!" It is so true. Time passes daily, but it's what we do that alters or changes our lives either for the good or the bad. I know people that have gotten stuck in one of the 7 stages of grief by their own doing, and have never healed as a result. Being healthy and grieving in a healthy manner is very dependent upon what we do or do not do.

Your perspective is one of balance and genuine knowledge. I really believe you will one day be used to help those that have experienced a loss. You speak incredible wisdom and there is a strength that rings out from every word in this piece. Kudos, my friend. Keep on keepin' on! (((Hugs))), Carole

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A very wonderful write with so much beautiful wisdom expoused. There is so much to learn from your words here. I would that all could live their lives this way and think such lovely, strong things in the face of loss. Great work.
Light,
Siddartha

[Piet Beeslaar]

Treasure the past, give thanks for it,
And let it give strength to your present,

Wow this was so deep. I think you should keep the title, it is so appropriate and I really think you have the right idea here - new time ...
The time is now, live for today cause tomorrow is time past..
Remember but go forward, great message

[Catrinka]

I actually like the title because it speaks to the hope expressed at the end. And your advice is so sound...good job!

[Dressed in Poetry]

I like poems with a moral, so this made me happy. The parallel structure with each stanza beginning similarly is nice as well. It makes me remember what you are saying.

[Phil Sanders]

I think the title works well and the poem is beautifully, tenderly and poignantly written ....

[Lydia Shutter]

Indeed, allowing oneself to remember is sometimes the only cure we need to move on with our lives. The past is the foundation of our future. In order to be serene and find inner peace, we must understand all our heartaches thoroughly. Brenda, your writes are always filled with honest emotion and I enjoy them. Lydia

[AK]

No, no... "A New Time" is perfect for this piece. As I read through it I saw one door slowly close and a new one begin to open. Beautiful!

[forfila]

These are some great peices of advice, we could all learn from them. Well put! =)