Chameleon

Chameleon

A Poem by Moth Phoenix
"

It's another version of something I had to do for creative writing.

"

She casts such a thin shadow,

behind the eyes of those around her.

She speaks loudly what she wants to say,

but it only comes out a whisper. 

She's like that one last ember to die,

hanging on to life more than ever. 

She cries but no one sees,

she laughs but no one cares.

The full moons in her eyes are now waning,

while she's stuck fading.

She knew she'd have to face this horrible fate,

to see her one true mate. 

"I've looked for thee and now you're here" 

"I have come for you my dear" 

the words she longs to hear,

tangled in the web of life,

through the stars of the universe. 

Such a lonely girl she stands,

casting such a thin shadow.

She longs to take in ones true grin,

but hides like the little chameleon. 

© 2013 Moth Phoenix


Author's Note

Moth Phoenix
I would like to say that those who have read and reviewed, and liked this poem, thank you! When I presented this in class, absolutely no one liked it. It means a lot :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

well crafted poem...but one question I had was why it would be a horrible fate to see her one true mate?

"I've looked for thee and now you're here"
"I have come for you my dear"
the words she longs to hear,
tangled in the web of life,

this feels like wonderful longing...not a terribly feared outcome...

She seems like a wallflower...unnoticed...inconspicuous...blends into the background like a chameleon...yet she's longing for her one true love...resigned to worship from afar to use an old cliche...

I would suggest having us feel unrequited longing instead of consummate dread or insecurity...which I do feel...if this is your intent, then the poem works for me...



Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
:o
This is a good poem so I don't know why people wouldn't like it. I would recommend studying the difference between abstract and concrete language. People tend to like concrete language more.

Posted 8 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Gem
I love this because it describes how I've felt for years growing up this is a really relatable piece =]

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I adore this poem! Reading it hit home because I can relate to it strongly.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This poem is absolutely amazing! its a favorite of mine. so much truth to this.p a pain that is smeared over our lives. plaguing
poisoning the most gentle of hearts
turned into stones

Posted 10 Years Ago


i would not say that I understand it entirely but it certainly sweeps along at some pace and is verty interesting, maybe I should read it thru several times

On the third line should it not be SHE SPEAKS..and not She's speak?

Posted 10 Years Ago


Moth Phoenix

10 Years Ago

Thank you for that. I fixed it!!
It was very compelling and interesting piece, well written with a strong, clear voice.

It is easy to read, the facts are presented clearly and concisely.

Congratulations and thank you for sharing interesting master piece.

Posted 10 Years Ago


A crafty poet with a great pen...Thank you for sharing...:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Such a depth in self description, Amazingly done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
ATG
A very interesting poem. Overall it was well written and there were no obvious errors. I got a good sense of someone being ignored by others from this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


beautiful work and words :)

Posted 12 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1721 Views
54 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 14, 2010
Last Updated on August 3, 2013
Tags: lovely, alone, invisible

Author

Moth Phoenix
Moth Phoenix

CO



About
Hello there stranger! Thanks for checking out my profile. I'm just some girl enjoying life one song at a time. Drop a review if you'd like, or a comment! more..

Writing
Phoenix Phoenix

A Poem by Moth Phoenix



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Torn Veil Torn Veil

A Poem by Dreamer


Chocolate Chocolate

A Poem by Tina Kline