Your lies have brought me back to reality

Your lies have brought me back to reality

Clouds no longer fill my head

What I thought was love

Now sits shattered on the ground

The door left close, is now open

The truth came out and ruined it all

They say that when you reach bottom

There is nowhere to go but up

Well you brought a shovel, and I don’t know how further down I can go

Reality sets in and Clouds no longer fill my head

Author's Note

Please review what you think of this and what i can do to make it better

Reviews

[TerryMcD]

Hello. First I think you should give yourself more credit. Anyone who writes, who uses words as expression not tools, is a writer. And you're willing to let others read what you write, even if you think it needs work, is cool.
I like the idea of your poem - lies being reality, lies removing what we thought was our reality. First, I think you shouldn't title your poem with the first line of the poem. It takes away the impact of your first line. My other suggestion would be to edit more fiercely. Are there words that aren't necessary (such as now in the line now sits shattered). I hope this doesn't discourage you. I often write 9 or 10 drafts of something (one suggestion, never delete a version - you never know).
Keep on writing, I'll keep reading.

[Odysseus Wanders]

sounds like you cried your eyes out... you know, the clouds above in your head rained, came out as rain and tear... thats what it feels like to me...
um, maybe some grammar and structure things to play with...
the door left close... my brain adds a d, i cant help it... that caught my eye
good poem, cathartic, and your something of a writer, keep going. keep learning.
time...

[Neon]

Yes, this's a very great write. As you know, we all writers here to learn from each other much to explore our skills and am glad to read your author's note that says that you love knowing making this write more better reading .. this's onself a great write and I don't think there's no one can write better than it because it's your concept and your theme's really very great .. so, as you want to know making it v=better so, here we go :)
Have a look (:-)

"Your lies've brought me back to reality
When I was in you with you getting lost into your "Humanity"
Clouds no longer fill my head
A head of being thinking about your Shed
What I thought was nothing but love
Now, I'm sit on the ground, you thought am your dove
The door left closed is now open
A truth comes out enters into the life to ruin it from bottom
There's no way to go where
But there's now some where
To go..to move..to get up
So, let's see what's my luck
You brought a shovel, I don't know how further I can go
Reality sets me up forces me just to move on ..to grow-up."

100/100! :)
I love your marvelous theme!

[MissJenaBlair]

"well you brought a shovel."

That part got me. Nicely done. You conveyed your feelings so well