(no) Infringment.

How is it possible  
For an emotion so deceptively strong 
To fade so quickly  

I felt it in me 
I felt the venom of his essence 
Run through my veins  

Like two magnet 
We were drawn to each other 
From first glance 

Yet after a blissful time 
Of easy love 
I question this deceptive feeling 

Waking up in the morning  
Was a task only endured  
To see his beaming face 

Breathing became a chour 
Because in those moments when we were so close 
Nothing else matter 

Now 
He no longer infringes on my soul 
Or occupies every corner of my 
Mind 

Now 
His being no longer encumbers my heart 
Or diverts my every thought 

Has his venom lost its poison? 
Have we demagnitized?  
No longer to attract? 

It's me, really.  Not you. Life has numbed me, and you deserve better. 

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This poem does have a lot of wisdom. And it was nicely written. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Marie Harrison]

So true your poem is. Lots of wisdom within it's lines. Great job!

[A.Lee]

This is excellent. I love the last stanza and last line. A very strong ending for a piece about emotions fading. Excellent imagery.

Only comment: I think "magnet" in the 3rd stanza should be "magnets"? Just nitpicking, sorry. Great work.

[Chantel]

This is so good! I love it. :) I would say more, but jamesmiles already said exactly what I was going to say :)P
Keep writing! :)

[.]

"Has his venom lost its poison?
Have we demagnitized?
No longer to attract?"
...nice--very creative!!!
"It's me, really. Not you. Life has numbed me, and you deserve better."
...wow--a very strong-emotive last line!!!
Great Poetry!!!

james:-)

[JenLyn]

I agree with RichardP a very nice write indeed, keep it up! :)

[Joshua Donahue]

Wow! I really felt the emotion in this one. I am always a sucker when a writer captives the experience of a liquid flowing through the veins of the human body just to show the grace and how well it flows. Good job!

The ending was well done as well. You staged this poem very well: falling in love, being loved, losing love, and the conclusion of love. Very nice. :D

[RDOriginal]

This poem positively drips with both emotion and confusion. It seems that the narrator is trapped in indecisiveness, not knowing whether a relationship that started with so much passion has run its course or whether it's changed in some way.

You use a very interesting image in this poem, that of venom. It is as if you are intimating that rather than falling in love the narrator has almost been infected by the other person, "I felt the venom of his essence run through my vains" (n.b. think you need to change that to veins). This is further emphasised when you write how, "he no longer infringes on my soul" as the word 'infringes' has such negative connotations. You're painting the man in the piece almost as a trespasser or someone who's tricked their way into the narrators emotions.

There's a very negative twist at the end of this poem when you introduce the horribly cliched phrase, "It's me really. Not you". Up to that point the reader has been riding with the narrator on a journey of metaphors and self analysis and suddenly they're dropped with a bump on the hard floor of reality. I think this works well as it's almost as if the narrator is telling us that the internal debate she's having doesn't matter.

Finishing the poem with the very negative phrase, "Life has numbed me, and you deserve better." the narrator is effectively telling us that she's given up. As areader we might have our own opinions about her relationship but she effectively cuts us dead with this statement.

This is a difficult subject to portray in a poem but I think you've done a good job. Nice writing!

[Indecisive and Loving I..]

Wow... This was a very powerful write! I felt it all, because I'm going through a similar situation as well.
Lots of emotions in this! it flowed very nicely. I'm sorry that you're going through this situation. Something my parents have told me works wonders: "Separation makes the heart grow fonder." This is true, in a sense! The longer you stay away from something the more you begin to appreciate it's worth, and everything else about it. Hope this helps :)
Lovely job!
And my dearest regards.

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we want something so bad. When we get it we don't really want it. I told my kids. Rent before buying. Learn the strength and weaknesses before buying. Men get worst with time. Woman are a lot different when you live with them. I like the feel of the poem. It seem someone must take the blame. I like the flow and the story. A outstanding poem.
Coyote