HEY! YOU GOT A SEC?

Smart Vulnerable People can readily admit a need and ask for a small amount of a friend’s time.  Failing that for whatever reason, Really Smart Vulnerable people will even approach relative strangers if they feel that asking them for fifteen minutes so they can talk out some s**t would not be too weird.  And it’s really not, weird, that is.  It happens on a global scale every single day.

I started bartending in Houma, Louisiana in 1975.  In 1977 I moved to Houston, Texas, same “career” path. In 1979, I moved to Portland, Oregon…same job, different beer taps.  1983, I moved to a small, very small little berg right outside of Sacramento called Knight’s Landing and yes, served alcohol and dispensed vague and generic advice effortlessly and upon request.  1989, Reno, Nevada showed up on my address labels and no, not once in the 16 years I lived there did I ever work in the casinos.  This timeline demonstrates the years and numerous locations I’ve served alcohol to people.  

My point?  Apparently in the frequent/regular customer manual, it’s a rule that any time you are alone with the bartender, you have to confess something that she could, literally, blackmail you with.  It’s why Poker is a favorite game for bartenders--lots of practice not screaming “Oh.  My.  God!  Get away from me you freak/pervert/psycho/criminal!”.

I put in a lot of years being that relative stranger whose fifteen minutes were, more often than not, hi-jacked, and I saw the impact these brief but oft times intense interactions to the freaks/perverts/psychos/criminals if only for a brief period:  they “felt” heard and understood.

I did not ask point blank for some personal interactions or brief connections, but the Café provided that..and more.  It’s a comfort to me that all I need is an internet connection to reach out to an international elite collection of people…like me.  I did not realize that I needed to “bond” a little with people I have common interests with.  People who are serious in their endeavors to become the same thing that's important to me:  being a better writer.  This one thing sets us apart from our collective crowds and cliques, colleagues and contemporaries.

 

Writing is not like crochet, needlepoint, model cars, fishing, etc.  You could find a minimum of three or more of any of the above on any street in America, but writers?  Not angst filled adolescents with good vocabularies, the real writers who work just as hard on five pages as they do five lines.  Who are industriously and furiously typing late at night, sneaking a few reads in at lunch, rewriting and revising, second-guessing and stressing to get “it” just right.  And sites like the Café become global intersections and exchanges that facilitate associations, influences, networks, contacts and even sincere and authentic friendships.

Today, the whole of the Café was my best friend, my trusted confidante, my honest and unflinching advocate, and for me, specifically, my conscience.

*awkward shuffling and throat clearing*

Okaaaaay…Lunch next week?  Call me…

 

 

Reviews

[richieb]

Being a bartender, I imagine you met some interesting characters who would fit nicely in a story. You are a special person and the Cafe needs you. I hope you stay.
Peace,
Richie b.

[Wesley Dingler]

Today, you were the Cafe's best friend, as well. I agree on how this site is like a global intersection for potential and creativity.
I first opened my Cafe account in 2007, and I think the site was still really new then. Maybe it was like a year old. I had come along after being fed-up with how complicated and disillusioned myspace poets had become, with all their narcissistic spoken-word crap, and so I went searching.
I found this site, and have loved the Cafe ever since. A place where people are writers, not looking to be a motivational speaker with a mic in hand. It seemed like so many of those a decade ago were going that route. Like they just looked good holding a hot mic. But I appreciated writerscafe so much because it wasn't a multimedia network. Not that I have a problem with those, they just weren't for me.
This site has been one of my best friends, and highest recommends, for almost twelve years now (wow! has it really been that long--guess it has).
I will always enjoy the way the site and the writers are allowed to just let creativity flow, and flow. hell, we even have our own rating system here, and that's super awesome. I know how some hate rating systems, but i love this one. I know some find it restricting, and in other places, I guess it may be--I don't really know. But here, it just gives us more room of our own to do whatever we want, for any group, for any age.

Anyway, i could ramble on and on, but I won't.
In fact, I didn't mean for it to go on this long, but yeah I love the Cafe.
I have met some of the coolest people in the world (literally) right here.

It's like Facebook for those of us who actually have something to offer the world. And for writers like myself, it offers a world of its own.


-wes

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Carol, I've been here for eight months only and have been delighted at the welcome and friendship on this site. More so than others I've used. There is so much energy in your articles and responses and humour too. You have swept in like a new broom :) I do hope you are going to be around for more than a quick visit. Your presence here is much welcomed by me.

Chris

[Cherrie Palmer]

It is so hard to find writers to bond with and that is what we have here.
I've been to other websites and they seem aloof. As if somehow they are more enlightened than the poor slobs that read their work.

However, here in the cafe there is open dialogue and genuine input and yes I agree with you true friendship.
So I'm up for lunch.
:)

[Lorry]

Some of the best advice I've received on here was from a top reviewer who told me to suggest instead of demand changes be made. Sounds so simple, until she showed me some of the replies she got.
It would be funny if it wasnt so tragic that some of the delicates on here, lets call them "good ole boys" because using the C bomb would break my new year resolution, that act like any criticism is an excuse to abuse and harass. Yet im sure im not the only one who has been told how much they appreciate support and advice, and even thank you for it when you didnt know you had given any.
Some great writers on here do that all the time without knowing, becaue they are decent people in real life too.
Every conversatipn starts with a hello, its not always deep and meaningful, but either is life.
I wonder if writerscafe were a real cafe, how many of us would get past the bouncers :)
Now, you do know you can keep pouring while im talking, dont ya?
Same again please, a mochachocachino vodka latte please.
Oh, and while im here, have you seen my shoes anywhere? I cant find them after the last time I was here. :)

[Carol Cashes]

Laughed out loud at the second paragraph and again thinkin' about getting past the bouncer. In low lighting I could prolly get away with the fake ID that says I'm 15 years younger, it'd be staying in joint that would be challenging. I have made no such resolutions as I will always call a spade/c-word a spade/c-word.
On another writing site, it was not "reviews" but critiques, and line by line. Grammar, punctuation, spelling and even entire sentences struck through with suggestions to improve...or remove. I. Loved. It. But I do not have a fragile ego and I am wasn't "in it" for "atta boys" but for advice, mentoring, encouragement, and at times admonishment. But, I learned just as much critiquing others' work as it was required (3 a month) to remain a member. Some of these *ahem* egomaniacal china dolls wouldn't last a day without getting a proper smack-down from a published, experienced and talented author. I read some pieces and would love to point out mixed tenses and overuse of "had" but you're never sure how it will be received, even if your motive was completely altruistic. There are two that I exchange critiques as opposed to reviews and my work has been better for it.
Your shoes? Honey, you didn't wear any, now your bra is hanging from the pool table light.

[Lorry]

Ah, I remember staring at someones tits, didnt realise it was my own moobs :)

[Carol Cashes]

BWHAHAHAHAHA! I immediately remembered the first (only) time I wore I push up bra. B***s can be vaguely threatening when pushed under your chin!

[Lorry]

I just strap em under my armpits.

[Carol Cashes]

*voice two octaves lower* If that picture is still in my brain in two weeks.....

I'm laughing out loud and Mr. B. (spouse) keeps asking me what's funny. *smirk* Like he'd get it...

[Lorry]

Just tell him moobs, there will be no follow up questions :)

[Carol Cashes]

Now my dignity is all undone...I'm giggling for God's sake....it's going to be hard to be snarky for the disagreement we have scheduled for later.

[Lorry]

Yeah, you'll lose that at the first thought of moobs. If you wanna win, just say you're laughing at jim and he'll go in a huff :)

[barleygirl]

It's great to have you back, even if you didn't slather on all this flattery like you're still steeping in an abundance of celebratory alcohol fumes perhaps!?!??! No really . . . I hope to live up to your glowing praises, but at least I know you won't be my friend the minute I start slouching around here! *wink! wink!* Hope your 2019 is going to mean us seeing you more often (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Carol Cashes]

No booze...but me and B. fought and I sat in a warm December fog outside thinkin' "Is it New Year's or Hallo-damn-ween?" We're okay, today. T
oo much emphasis is placed on the day and especially the time and everyone gets frantic if their world isn't perfect at that minute. *shrug* This fight had been brewing for a couple of weeks and was overdue, New Year's Eve notwithstanding. At straight up midnight, I received a call from a friend I haven't talked to in a couple of years so MY New Year started off well...
I think that as the grown, adult and mature women we are, we know that "livin' up to" anyone's expectations is unrealistic and unfair - to both parties. I enjoy your spirit and your openness and your generous nature that I suspect is not very evident to the less intuitive in your physical world. 2019, well, I remember being 12 and if someone would have told me where I'd be in 2019 I would have responded "That's not a real year!"

[barleygirl]

You are so right about most people who know me in the flesh, have no idea how I tick *smile*

[roarke]

Well framed, well said. And I too appreciate efforts of the good, dedicated writers that share their time and talents on WC. Thanks for sharing and relating this sentiment CC.

[Carol Cashes]

My mother is a very high Priestess in the Southern Belle Doctrine and I simply showed my good graces/training by sending a Thank You note for the hospitality I enjoyed during my little visit. It's not enough to get back into the "Order", my other "sins" being too great, but...periodically the training kicks in...