January Shadows

Father - Daughter

What would you make of me dear Dad,

if we could share a cup of tea

and watch the sail boats work the breeze

devoid of other company?

As I pour a stronger brew, look

into your long dead eyes, would you

linger there with me? Stay a while,

smile back and say, "I love you girl

no matter what." Or would you turn

to me and say "this time my dear

you've lost the plot".

I'm older now than you were then.

How strange it seems to me in dreams

we meet and both of us are old.

How warm you are when you break through.

How cold I feel, your absence felt.

Yet when you pierce that flimsy veil

the freeze soon thaws, the ice soon melts

and I again a child of ten,

recall with glee the laughter when

stories dipped in sugar water

never end in tears or slaughter.

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

mixed memories of your dad, sometime jovial, other times more direct....but then you speak of dream-like times when you were young and was able to have fun with your dad...your dreams are filled with times of older ages....and younger ones as well...fathers and daughters have special relationships.... a special bond. Many of us go through this special time with our dads. A nice keepsake of your dad.
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Betty thank you for that lovely review. 32 years gone now. that is an awful long time.You are very much appreciated. 💐

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome dear friend!
Best, B

[Robert Trakofler]

Damn I wasn’t ready for that one. I’m so hit by your words in this! You really cut to the marrow sometimes that was absolutely beautiful! Why you always make me tear.

[Chris Shaw]

Anniversary airing Bad Bunny. It had to be done. Thank you for checking this one out.

Chris

[john l smith]

I don't have a daddy's girl to remember me but I hope my sons will have a reasonably good recollection
A touching remembrance

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Dave. Anniversary month. Poem needed an airing.

Chris

[Samuel Dickens]

This is a sensitive, seemingly very honest conversation with your father. When one loses a parent too soon, (my mother died in '73 at the age of 48) there can be such an emptiness felt. Perhaps there were unresolved issues. Maybe we understand things about them that we didn't back then. Your remembering of the fun times with your dad makes me smile.

[Chris Shaw]

I'm pleased these lines made you smile Sam. I always smiled when I was in my Dad's company. He died at 60 and very suddenly. So difficult to deal with at the time. Appreciate your reviews.

Chris

[Gee]

Jeez, that's a lump in the throat Sunday afternoon read. I hope one day in the long off future, when I'm dead and buried, my daughter has these kind of memories to cherish and share.
Beeeeeoootiful with a capital Bee.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Gee. Anniversary month. This an old poem. Feelings haven't changed though.

Chris

[Lorry]

Beautifully penned Chris. The dream to me suggests that despite the years clovking by, you will always be h

[Lorry]

....will always be his little girl, no matter what.
Sorry, phone is glitching again. Grrr! :)

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Lorry. An old one out for an airing. January an anniversary month. Yes, I will always be Daddy's girl :) Soppy isn't it?

Chris

[Ana Papaya]

This is very moving Chris.
I have a wonderful relationship with my father.
He's still alive but I know one day I will miss him as strongly as you do yours.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ana. It's 28 years since my Dad died. There hasn't been a day since then that I haven't reflected on that loss. It was a huge loss for me. Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem.

Chris

[Ana Papaya]

you're welcome Chris (hug)

[Jimmy Yetts]

An amazing creation!
So perceptive; so masterfully written
Hurtfully touching, gifted poetess.

[Chris Shaw]

Easy to write about my Dad Jimmy. So special and greatly missed. Thank you for reading this one.
read moreEasy to write about my Dad Jimmy. So special and greatly missed. Thank you for reading this one.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

An absolutely beautiful piece. I am moved beyond a real 'critique". When a writer is A) a natural and B) writes straight from an intensely personal place, unfiltered, magic happens. I am so lucky to have my parents as I approach the latter half of my life, and luckier still, to have had maternal grandparents until I was well past my teens. I know many people are not so fortunate. If there is an after, i am sure this poem moves him too...

[Chris Shaw]

Your response is very encouraging. These lines did come very naturally and I was pleased myself with the result. My Dad died unexpectedly at 60, far too soon.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

When I find a writer I like to go back to their beginning here at WC. The sad thing in here is that we are very much driven by the present feed and forget people have a whole history here.

[Chris Shaw]

Well, I've only been here three months, not long really, but quite a few of my poems were written a while ago. Have started to write some new stuff over the last week, non rhyming. Trying out something different.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes I see that. I came here in 2012. The oldest of my poems date back to 1983. I was gone from here for most of 2016 and 2017, when I did come back it was mostly to edit. It was quite the task, assembling all my poems into chapters of books. I think there's over 1300. I got the idea from Ana, who organises all her poems into books.

[Chris Shaw]

I'm not as prolific as you, most of my stuff written in the last eight or nine years. It's a good idea to assemble your work in chapters of books, so I may take a leaf out of your book so to speak.

[Lyn Anderson]

Best to do it early on. It's a particularly arduous task after many years. I have been writing since I was eight or nine. I have one poem posted from 13 years old here. We learn from each other. I took the idea from Ana, who would probably tell you she saw it somewhere else.

[Chris Shaw]

Not sure how to make books yet. Still finding my way around.

[Lyn Anderson]

Open up manage writing, add writing, title it in the appropriate category (i.e. Poems about family) - comment, add images, just like a poem, and then go in, edit a poem to become a chapter, and add it to your book.

[Lyn Anderson]

You have 11 pages, which means you have approximately 110 works to organise. People seem to lose interest if a book contains much more than 20 or thirty pieces. The reason it took me so long is by that point I had 130 pages and my nature meant I wanted to properly categorise each piece which took a long time.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you. I appreciate your help.

[Lyn Anderson]

No problem. While there are those who take my straightforward approach for rude and arrogant, I try my best to help and give useful tips. Many people helped me in here. Helped me both personally and with my writing in terms of honing my own style. I like to pay back when I come across someone receptive.

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! such contrasts ...one can lean to a healthy or caustic relationship .. i have two daughters and to all the questions asked in V1 and 2 ... i would and do answer a hearty YES! ;) the scene your poem inspires me is one at a special restaurant on the west coast i visited once back when ... but of course it can be set anywhere .. a cafe ..the daughter's home ... out on the deck ....
your protagonist has missed something in her relationship with dad ...he, now passed in death (perhaps) ..or in barriers built over years ...
the strength of the word "slaughter" takes away from the optimism i otherwise felt in your closing ... the dad breaks through and brings good memories ...but that closing line leaves me a bit disturbed ... crazy huh!? :) i am inspired this morning to send my prayers up especially for me daughters
E.

[Chris Shaw]

How lovely to have you calling on my work. I had a very special relationship with my Dad. I was most fortunate and pleased that you were thinking about you own relationship with you own daughters as you read my poem. Interesting about the word slaughter. In this context I was referring to the bedtime stories my Dad read me as a child. He would never read or tell me stories which involved anyone dying or crying. His stories were always dipped in sugar water. Hope that explains where my mind was. Poetry so subjective, I can appreciate others might interpret differently. I very much appreciate your visit.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

ahhhhh got it! yes ...subjective indeed ... you accomplished your overall intent i think ... as i thought right away of me daughters :)

[Chris Shaw]

That's good to hear :))

[Maxwell Ryder]

Hope you don’t mind. Shared this with a Palestinian friend who hasn’t yet recovered (do we ever?) from the loss of her father. I appreciate the tenderness and sense of loss here. Thank you.

[Chris Shaw]

Delighted that you did so. Hope it helps her. Thank you maxwell.