A Rock And A Hard Place

“Do you Love him?”
There was a long pause.
“Do you?”
Again, a long pause, and then…
“Do I Love him? Do I breathe him in like the early morning breeze at sunrise as it grazes the Earth, an embrace to every living creature? Do I Love him? My every waking thought is reserved in concern- for his happiness, his well-being, hell, his current state of mind. Do I Love him?”
I turned away and looked out the window as the rain began to furiously beat upon the panes, and again, the question haunted the surreal and lonely, ghostly halls, the cobwebs of my mind.
I had never loved anyone as much as him.
I was getting lost in my poetic, thoughtful mind as my fingers strolled across the middle row on one shelf of books. Old habits die hard. I wasn’t even looking at the titles by now, just genuinely feeling the bindings and spines of the books on my fingertips.
There had been several lovers before him, the typical, average men you’d expect to find just about anywhere with absent minds and empty, cold hearts begging for whatever scraps they could get, but never truly satisfied with their own dead-end lives and in their struggles, took every opportunity to displace blame anywhere they could see fit except, quite frankly, their own damn back yards. I’ll never understand anyone who claims to be so dissatisfied, yet doesn’t do a goddamn thing to change their situation. Is it laziness? Lack of true hope? I cannot fathom just doing ‘nothing’.
“He has a brilliant f*****g mind,” I said as I turned back to Carolyn. “With him, I’ve met my equal, and he, is…amazing.”
“Oh…my…God. You looooove him!” Carolyn’s squeal could be heard echoing through the entire library.
I hid behind the “Do-It-Yourself” audio section in total embarrassment.
“Holy s**t, Carolyn,” I whispered loudly. “The entire planet doesn’t need to know about my love-life or lack thereof.”
She walked over and leaned in.
“What are you going to do now? I mean, you know, the situation?” She asked.
“I don’t have a damn clue. I’ve been tossing and turning for three nights, and I’m going to tell you why: he knows. He knows every single thought that crosses my mind. If I’m pissed off, he knows and he knows ‘why’. If I’m sad, he knows and wants to strangle someone. If I’m thinking dirty, filthy thoughts about him…he knows. He knows! I don’t know how he knows, but he does. I don’t know what to do. How do you escape a mind?” I gestured for Carolyn to follow me around the corner toward the vinyl record collection section.
“You’re a hot mess, girlfriend. Hot mess. Once they’ve got your heart and they know it…” Her voice trailed off and she began to annoyingly snap her gum and lazily giggle.
“Thanks for your support,” I retorted. “I’m having a predicament of a lifetime and…Jesus Christ, will you please stop snapping that gum!”
“Shhhhhhhhhhh” came from several corners of the library.
“I knew that was coming.” said Carolyn sarcastically as she made the “whoop-dee-doo” motion with her right hand.
“Let’s get out of here. I need to drive and think. I want to devise a way to tell him how I feel without…seeming too…” I was still thinking.
“All right, Aphrodite, let’s go. I need to swing by Deedee’s anyway, I left a backpack over there a couple days ago.” Carolyn said as she started for the door.
“Do I love him?” I said out loud again.
A resounding…yes.

Reviews

[Sammie Sanchez]

haha, this one reminds me of me and my best friend, i would probably be Carolyn.lol

[duff]

I like the banter between both characters. The humor and the small details kept it interesting until the end. It's a pleasure to read your work.

[Taz]

I love the visualizations I can get from this story, I am usually more of a poem reader but this was most poetic in a sense. Beautiful read I loved every word of it.