Beloved Andromache

This was actually my homework in my English class. I loved it so much I had to put it in here. I hope you like it. It's about Hector and Andromache in the story the Iliad written by Homer.

I feel your eyes on my retreating back as I head toward my battle. My armor is heavy and the glare of the sun hurts my eyes. I do not look back to take in what you feel is my last sight of you. I do not glance back to the child you hold in your arms. Your image in engraved in my mind, and my heart clutches as I remember your tresses that ripple over your shoulders, the thick lashes that frame your eyes, your tear-stained cheeks as you beg me to stay. I disappear from your sight and only then do I turn back to breathe in the scent of our farewell.

Goodbye, beloved Andromache. Soon you will be back in my arms and I will be there to wipe your tears away. For now I must face the fiend who comes between us.

I lift the sword in my hand. This battle I dedicate to my king and country. But my fiend's last breath I give to my dear Andromache.

Reviews

[lostboy]

thou almost convinceth me to be a writer.very good.

[Muse]

Homework huh? Well I hope you got an A+!

[TJ]

Very good! Your words vividly describe the scene I could almost see it

[quinfinn]

fantasy filled, glory encrusted and marvelously written!

[StarSandwich]

Me Like, short simple. Emotions xD

[compositionc]

A fantastic little piece.

[hatsXIV]

I agree it's pretty well written, but some of it seems to fail in recognizing male perspective. Hector is going into battle and he is one of the greatest warriors walking planet and has been in countless prior battles. I guess what I'm asking is, "where is his game face?" This dude ends lives with his bare hands and a blade and the only thing on his mind before going into battle is his wife? I'm sure it crosses his mind, but I'm also sure when the time comes he has the ability to put that stuff aside and focus all that testosterone and muscle into killing humans. That's hardcore stuff and I don't feel it in this lovely farewell to his family.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I agree with the other reviewers. I love the vivid descriptions and the painful emotions. Your words are strong and well-chosen. I did notice one typo--"your image in engraved" should be "is engraved."

[.quan.011.]

This is nice and well written. Its very dream and I believe this is something a soldier would think about before going into battle.

[Dinesh Sairam]

You may train the eagle
To stoop to your fist;
Or you may inveigle
The Phoenix of the east;
The lioness, ye may move her
To give o'er her prey;
But you'll ne'er stop a lover:
He will find out his way.

(From the "Golden Treasury")

Enough said, I think. Going into my Favorites.

Keep writing.