2. a spectator's sport

if i could i would create

an inspiring desiring goal

one that would find a mate

for my lack of wish i had a soul

someone to resuscitate

the breath that left me in the cold

naked secrets i regurgitate

now kept in check forever untold

maybe if i let life happen

still waters of a river outrun

anticipate and wait for passions

then bathe in the calm outcome

maybe if i let life happen

maybes will mature into definites

crying and sighing and laughing

the cycle repeats without hesitance

if i could i'd dare to dream

of an honest promise so sincere

let truths bare my schemes

of a trickster's whispers in your ear

revelations that i deem

unworthy too dirty to be made clear

glanced at through split seams

but chosen to lie frozen in fear

maybe if i let life happen

patience will blossom new freedom

outgrow and let go of my trappings

self-imprisoner i've become

if i could just make life happen

shaped by critical instances

divulge my soul in more than rations

displays shown minimal in glimpses

wonder of the world and what makes it tick

observe the world and learn all its tricks

til i see so much it sees me sick

prepare my mask, paint the lines on quick

wandering the world til something clicks

blended in the world, then i'm in the mix

a lot in life settled, but i didn't pick

layer my masks, paint the lies on thick