Warped

My favorite words tell you something 

My favorite songs tell it all

I've got a jar full of tears and a body full of scars

My brain is broken it has nothing to do with my heart

I had every part of life warped from the start

So watch the stars and see them glow

That's how I see the world, you know

Yeah, that's how I see the world below

If I let you win this

would I still be okay?

If I let you fix me

promise me it all will go away

promise me the pain won't stay

I've learned to play the game 

at least when i'm not home

I can get by just fine, I'm just usually on my own 

and I know that you hate me, and I know it's not fair

but I'm just the type of person that can't have you there

So watch the stars and see them glow

that's how I see the world, you know

yeah, that's how I see the world below

If I let you win this

would I still be okay?

If I let you fix me

promise me it all will go away

promise me the pain won't stay.

Reviews

[J Todd Underhill]

I could see s song like this being played in the coffee house where I host my open mic. Nothing better really this would be wonderful... to experience it live.... someday!

[Moflo]

I like the repetition in this piece a lot! I feel the repetition really drives the point through, and the emotions you've conveyed are excellent. Very nicely written!

[Chris]

An interesting theme... and rhythmic stumbling.

Bi-directional chorus

As a poem - I like the taste.
As a song - the tune will really have to carry some heat.

Least that's how I feel.
Chris

[@zeewhykay]

I dig your style ! "My brain is broken it has nothing to do with my heart"
wonderful line
I can pretty much sing this with a sweet melody, the words fit perfectly with a small punk rock vibe ! This is enough to urge me on to read more of your work, thanks for befriending.

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Great affectonated work for the Beloved soul, Nice to read, thanks...

[Jeremy Baker]

This poem has a musical and rhythmic quality to it - it would make a great song!

[Becky C Strukamp]

Great job on the rhyming. Enjoyed reading this. Nice work.