The Phantom

         Blood rushed through his veins as if running from the fear that engulfed him. Pursued by a viscous evil, he dodged the dark trees. There was nothing but the tall  figures that surrounded him. The growls became louder as he sprinted for his life. It seemed as if he had been running for hours. But far in the distance he saw an opening in the trees. A flicker of hope sparked within him, and he raced as fast as he could. "That light is my only chance" he replayed through his mind. Death was nipping at his heels, and he prayed he could make it to the opening. It was so close, he had to make it. Feet from the clearing, his foot caught a root. His body was twisted through the air and his leg shattered on a tree as he plunged into the light.         
         He fell within the moons gaze, vulnerable to its light. His short black hair was matted down and sweat dripped into his eyes. The nametag on his blue mechanics suit was halfway ripped off, in bright red letters it read 'Jack'. His shin bone had pierced through his pale white skin leaving a hole in his over-alls. Streams of blood gleamed in the moonlight as they ran down the greasy pant leg. Agonizing pain ripped through his body as he screamed. All hope was lost but he had to get away from the forest. He knew they were watching him suffer from their cover of shadows. His pain was conquered by fear as he dug his hands into the dirt, pulling himself farther from the treeline.
          He rolled onto his back and stared into the forest. Their eyes shone through the shadows like small flames and Fear took over his body. He beckoned for help as he shook and one by one they crept into the light. Their fur was rough and dirty, and their fangs glistened in the moonlight. The blood lust in their eyes sent chills up his spine.
         The beasts surrounded him in all directions, foaming at the mouth as they crept ever closer. Fear paralyzed him as they approached. A Wolf loomed over him bearing his fangs, ready to rip into his flesh. When Suddenly a terrible wind shook the trees around them. Leaves cut Jacks face as he struggled to sit up. He braced himself and squinted at the forest. A white smoke dashed among the trees and the beasts backed up with their tails between their legs and heads hung low. They sat as if obedient to the wind.
        The wind became so fierce the man had to shield his eyes. Then Almost instantly, it ceased. There was utter silence and he lowered his arm only to see a tall man in a brown suit standing on the edge of the forest. A white smoke drifted into the air behind the man. He walked slowly towards Jack and placed his hand on a wolfs head. He scratched behind his ears and enjoyed the happiness on the dog's face.
  He pointed toward a river and said "She was standing right over there next to the waterfall, taking pictures." a Sort of half grin took over the man.
    "She looked so beautiful with her golden hair and, cute dimples, She was so..." the man paused " but then she was gone..." He said distantly and stepped closer to Jack folding his arms behind his back.  " I offer you... a chance at redemption" He said calmly
    "What... what are you talking about!? Just please let me go!" Jack cried.
The tall white man sighed and stared at jack with his golden eyes. " Return her to me, and i will spare you." He said threateningly
 " Whoever you want, I don't have them! please just... help me. I beg of you. I'll do anything."
 " LIAR! You have her! I saw you take her, YOU STOLE HER FROM ME!" The man became angry and the wolves barked. "RETURN HER TO ME!"
      The ferocious beasts growled and snarled with anger. The man in the suit let out a soul piercing shriek and ascended into the air. He threw his arms out and yelled. The winds grew even stronger now and sent trees to the ground. Then a bright white light turned the night to day and blinded Jack.
       Jack opened his eyes and saw only jagged teeth before he died.
    

Author's Note

Sorry about any spelling or flow errors I started this around 3 in the morning so i was a little tired haha. please be brutal tell me exactly what you think.

Reviews

[f**k you]

Very very cool. This was super attention grabbing. I want to know more! The description is captivating and the cliff hanger was excellent. To be brutal like you ask, you just need add some commas or reword some sentences because some run on a bit. Also watch for capitalization errors, there are lots of them. Very original and interesting overall! I hope you continue this!

-nicole-was-here-

[NightsShade]

* Promises to come back sometime to give a proper review. I hate to leave you waiting :( *