New Life (Form poetry)

The phrase "The raindrops kissed the earth and whispered..." came from a prompt by a contest here on writer's cafe.

              Hush! Silence! It is     dark but

           For  a moment Listen to    them now    :

                The raindrops               kissed the earth

     And   whispered  something         I can't recall

       I want to       listen             more           closely,                

  perhaps          understand  .      The rain    is    innocent,   and  

        its       words         I know  ,           must be holy

              I will    not    deafen myself  ,     I will hear this time

                  Soft              words to soothe    my rusty soul   .

 

                          I                     will                        be

 

               lost                     in                         the

 

                     echo                      as                         they

 

            pound               mud                       back

 

     into                                       n                       l

                                               e                        i

                                                     w                        f

                                                                           e

 

Author's Note

I can't stand the term "Concrete poetry" and normally don't write things this way. However, I saw how easily the words could be manipulated into a form after I wrote them down.

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

When I opened this; I thought "I am not going to be able to read this." I am glad that I tried. Not only did you create an excellent shape or form poem, it is also beautifully written. And it was very easy to read.

I have been yearning to try this, but have so few ideas. The beauty in your poem is that it can be framed and hung on a wall. Have you considered adding colors to it? Even if those colors are only gray and black, the differences would be noticed. You could also play with bold an italic. Sorry, I get carried away (:

Terrific job!

[alternative_be]

I live in a country where we have a lot of rain ... I like the images you use, I would like to have the chance to have whispering rain for just once... Mostly we are having showers and I like performing rain dances in my garden. Our garden frogs leap out of the pond and even try to get onto my porch to shelter ...
Can you imagine?
Visually your poem is great. I imagine the top to be the clouds ... and the bottom lines very nice and soft rain which is very healthy for any garden. Very nice form indeed!
And of course rain is very important for new life! Not only for new life, but for any life!

[Tony]

It is a cloud with rain coming down.
Pretty cool.
And it just so happens, Michael here, has written the rest of my review, in the first three sentences only.
Thank you for posting.

[Michael]

It is like a piece of performance art. I normally don't go in for this sort of thing but then they normally stink, I like this a lot. Its strength is that the form is self-evident and needs no outside input to understand it. It would be difficult to critique it on a objective level, now subjectively - it is perfect!


Never, never, never again try to tell me you are not a wonderful poet!

[Ralphy]

Constance's this is a wonderful piece, although I have never seen this type of write before; I do find it fascinating. What if anything inspired you to write in such a format? I like this, thanks for the share.

[Pj]

Wonderful write. I really loved "The rain is innocent", it sounded beautiful within the tangle of all your swirling thoughts.
:D

[Dirk]

This is an interesting poem in that it creates the image of rain extremely well through words, allowing readers to better see the image that is finally formed through them. I am very impressed! This type of poetry is very difficult to write because it can easily come across to readers as ridiculous or even heavy-handed. You have avoided both of those pitfalls. I love this poem, Constance!