Gone

The lights are dim
The sky is grey
Every thing is frozen in time
There are no leaves on the lifeless trees
It's all just a cold waste land

All joy
All happiness has gone
Since you walked out of my life

You were my sunshine
My colorful flowers
You were my spring
But you are gone

Gone like the leaves during the fall
Gone of existence of life on a winter season
Gone like the colors of spring
This is what you did when you left me
On the cold hard ground crying
And thinking it was my fault
While the snow covered me
Like a blanket of shame

Please come back
Lets us make things right
Like when the trees spring green leaves
Like when the flower pushes its way up
from the melting snow
When all animals come out of their burrows and caves

Please come back
When you were gone every thing was frozen in winter
But with you back in my life the snow can melt and
Welcome the spring that you bring to my life

Author's Note

Comments????

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, and you've presented a really vivid image here, but I'd just be careful that you don't end up repeating yourself during the piece. You come dangerously close, I think, in the latter half of the piece, so just watch that. Other than that, however, this is very clear and polished. Well done.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

very sad and moving poem full of emotion as well. tells quite a story great write

[writingislifex3]

amazing!

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks! :)

[writingislifex3]

you're welcome and you should read some of my poems(:

[The Invisible Girl]

I'm reading them right now! :)

[writingislifex3]

alright, cool(:

[.]

wht the heaven is that girl....????//
you're beating me :)....your alll writings are so powerful.......words are too as well....

Gone like the leaves during the fall
Gone of existence of life on a winter season
Gone like the colors of spring
This is what you did when you left me
On the cold hard ground crying
And thinking it was my fault
While the snow covered me
Like a blanket of shame ...........loved again this one much.......are you become a professional writer within a days when i wasn't here ............?????????

[The Invisible Girl]

Lol thanks!!!! :D

[.]

I think you became ....omg....hellow ma'am...sorry to disturb you...!!
how are ya.....ma'am ?

[lee von cleef]

You asked: O K I would take all reference to "You" out of the poem until the very end.ie.
All happiness is gone out of my life
My sunshine
My Spring
My colorful flowers
And so on

just a thought.I like the poem, to me it just needs some Tar the reader can't wash off when he is done.

[Tony]

This is an emotionally evocative write and the symbolism you create with the winter imagery is captivating.

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks!! Glad you enjoyed reading it!!