The Thing I Fear the Most

What am I afraid of? 

Well that's a loaded question.

 

Of course I'm scared of monsters, 

of demons, clowns, and ghosts. 

I'm also scared of dolls,

but that's not what scares me most. 

 

The thing I fear the most

is what will happen in my life.

Will I ever find a husband?

Will I ever be a wife? 

 

It's what I've always wanted,

a wedding, true love, and kids. 

But having your dreams come true

is as hard as you'd think it is. 

 

As an almost 19-year-old girl 

who's never had a boyfriend,

I've started to convince myself

that's how my story will end. 

 

I fear I'll never find love but not just the romantic kind.

What if even a perfect friendship is something I never find? 

 

But as I write these words

in hopes that I won't prove them true, 

the thing I fear the most is something you probably fear too. 

I'm worried that I will find love,

that all my dreams will come true. 

But then one day things will change,

and I won't be good enough for you.

 

I'm scared you will fall out of love

and that I'll end up burned. 

I fear that the endless love I'll give to you

will never be returned. 

I fear that I will always be the only one that falls.

I fear that mutual love is the thing that never calls. 

 

I want to hear my name,

said with so much love and care.

I want to say it back and know you'll still be there.

 

I fear that I will say it first,

and I will never hear it back. 

I fear that I'll never say it,

it's just something that I'll lack. 

 

But what if I do find the man

who is comparable to none? 

I fear that one day I will fall in love,

but I'll be the only one. 

Author's Note

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