T.A.

Poem about a gal I met by sheer luck, who came off as a girl different and unique than any other girl that I ever met. It turned out that she was as basic as the girls I despised.

I made you grin, I made you smile, I made you laugh
However, in your head you were just being friendly
20 years on this Earth and I should have known better
Yet I still let you put me into a frenzy
Unique, elegant, breathtaking, must I go on?
"Everyone here looks the same" you told me
I was naive and believed every word
Those who claim they are different blend in the most, wouldn't you agree?
Charming, wise, attentive...feel free to stop me at anytime
We were surrounded by the world but to me we were the only ones speaking
Beauty of an actress, brains of a philosopher
I wholeheartedly believed you were different but, secretly you spent your whole time critiquing
Pleasant, curious, magnetic...I've got to get a hold of myself
Big blue eyes it would make any man's heart melt
Name one more indie movie that we both saw and I swear I'll marry you now
My heart says "speak boy! speak! tell her how you really felt!"
Nonchalant, rude, superior...there we go, tell it how it really is!
Social networks are the root of all evil and the bearer of bad news
My heart on pins and needles waiting for your heartfelt response
When it comes to girls like you, I'll always lose
Your delayed response was heartless, cliche, and a huge excuse
You called me sweet oh God how original
You're starting to look like one of them
The mist is being cleared. Your primitive nature is starting to look fictional
Over. Done. Finnito.
You had my heart beating as if I just drank 20 cups of caffeine
You're original. You're the last of a dying breed.
Wait, could you explain to me what your cliche Chinese tattoo means?
Finished. Done. Accomplished.
Sometimes I wish I could replay the time we first met, other times I wished we never crossed.
I'm content now I swear.
But I have two last words to tell you girl, your loss.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Name one more indie movie that we both saw and I swear I'll marry you now

I love that line. It does read like a story - a prose bit but there are some wonderful little end rhymes that give it a poetic feel
Social networks are the root of all evil and the bearer of bad news
My heart on pins and needles waiting for your heartfelt response
When it comes to girls like you, I'll always lose
Your delayed response was heartless, cliche, and a huge excuse

Well penned

[Stella Armour]

i enjoyed reading this Casner, but i think it is more either a short story or a piece of prose rather than a poem.You obviously have a gift for writing so do take it further.. well done!

[Hannah Berry]

This is a really nice write, i enjoyed it. I could tell your feelings for this girl were strong and it's a shame she didn't end up being who you thought she was. Keep writing! x

[Rita L. Sev]

This works as a prose piece; you told a story with good detail. Even prose works best with some structure, and some of your lines could use some tweaking for length. I like the intermingling of her attributes throughout, keeping the reader right there, understanding the attraction.

*In that last line, I think you want 'you're' instead of 'your'.

A good first post - keep 'em coming!

[Michael Stevens]

This poem hits several nerves; I think we've all been there!