The Bird Who Sings To Me

The Bird Who Sings To Me

A Poem by Invisible Ink
"

a nightingale poem

"
In the darkness of the eve
As I lay in somber mood
Heart full of doubt,
Head full of woes,
She comes to me
This little bird,
With sweetest song
Ever heard,
And my soul opens
To hear this melody
Of the nightingale
When we are both alone

Sweet Nightingale, come sing to me
I am heartsick to my bones
Soothe my loneliness, oh little bird
With your lovely words




© 2010 Invisible Ink


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This is a very sweet, and quite a classic style poem. Your descriptions are simple but elegant and evocative. Without being dramatic or angst-ridden, this poem really captures that bleak, distorted, sleepless-night world, and then contrasts that against the peace and beauty of the soothing Nightingale. It's a really nice counter-point. "And my soul opens to hear the melody of the nightingale when we are both alone " is a gorgeous, old-school descriptive.

Mind your capitalizations, as Nightingale appears both capitalized and uncapitalized here.

You could very nearly read this poem as also being an allusion to Florence Nightingale, I don't know if that is intentional or not, but the idea of being soothed in the night by a Nightingale is fairly strong, and for this reason, I would change "he" to "she" when referring to the Nightingale, and then this poem works on both levels.

The language usage in the final verse - "Sweet Nightingale", "heartsick" and "oh little bird" - is also very classically orientated, which complements the traditional subject matter and feel of this poem. For that reason, it's not super original, but it's a really well executed example of this style. Excellent write :-)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The nightingale must speak the same language as the heart. I would like to hear the song of the nightingale, especially on a lonely night such as the one you described. A songbird makes great company.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a very sweet, and quite a classic style poem. Your descriptions are simple but elegant and evocative. Without being dramatic or angst-ridden, this poem really captures that bleak, distorted, sleepless-night world, and then contrasts that against the peace and beauty of the soothing Nightingale. It's a really nice counter-point. "And my soul opens to hear the melody of the nightingale when we are both alone " is a gorgeous, old-school descriptive.

Mind your capitalizations, as Nightingale appears both capitalized and uncapitalized here.

You could very nearly read this poem as also being an allusion to Florence Nightingale, I don't know if that is intentional or not, but the idea of being soothed in the night by a Nightingale is fairly strong, and for this reason, I would change "he" to "she" when referring to the Nightingale, and then this poem works on both levels.

The language usage in the final verse - "Sweet Nightingale", "heartsick" and "oh little bird" - is also very classically orientated, which complements the traditional subject matter and feel of this poem. For that reason, it's not super original, but it's a really well executed example of this style. Excellent write :-)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very nice - I could see and feel this!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


I love the imagery of the Nightingale, right now I am also working with bird and animal imagery.

I would do is cut down the words to....
"heart full of doubt
head full of woes"

Personal possessives are nice in prose, but in poetry should be used sparingly in instances such as "my loneliness".

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Tim
Great little poem. I like it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Made me think Billie Holliday should come back and sing it to us, there's a bluesy, sensual vibe to it.
"I am heartsick to my bones" - I like how this is both heavy and simple at the same time.

p.s. "sooth" = soothe? Think the 'e' escaped your typing fingers.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I CAN JUST HEAR THE LITTLE BIRDS SONG! SO SWEET!! GREAT POEM!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Thank you, Invisible Ink, for your entry. Know that all of these are precious to me.
~lovely

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago



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8 Reviews
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Added on November 11, 2010
Last Updated on December 30, 2010
Tags: depression, nature, birds, bird song, mood
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Author

Invisible Ink
Invisible Ink

NC



About
"I guess I wrote in invisible ink, Oh, I've tried to think how I could have made it appear"- Aimee Mann Open the cage and set the bird free. I am a writer. A poet. Words have saved me. I am a .. more..

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