Invisible Energy,  Killing... me

Invisible Energy, Killing... me

A Poem by Cynthia
"

;)

"
Some invisible energy,
was pushing me down,
slowly, slowly, slowly,
as I screamed for help,
its' hand,
placed on my throat,
and lightly squeezed it,
as asound like bell laughed,
 I found myself dying.

The invisible energy,
was coming from my body,
NO!
I am now killing myself,
I tried to shut the system down,
but it kept coming out,
while it was swallowing me in,
I squeezed my eyes shut,
readying for the last moment,
of what I called 'life'

© 2011 Cynthia


Author's Note

Cynthia
I really hope its working the way I think it will be, so please tell me what you feel afterwards, and, heres the riddle, what fo you think 'it' is? Theres no right answer, just tell me what is your guess!

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Reviews

I'm totally confused and befuddled. I haven't a clue.

Posted 13 Years Ago


stiffing grief? pain? hurt? guilt? self-loathing?
I can't even begin to imagine. No one can, except you - because you wrote it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Someone choking? Let me know please....loved the poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very different look on suicide.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Intense and real. I like the structure and word choice! Well done!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is beautiful, I love the feeling it gives the reader as if everything is happening so fast and so unexpected. Great write

Posted 13 Years Ago


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QC
Perfect. Absolutely perfect. (: great job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


It made me imagine a person who is carrying a serious emotional issue
and had their pinned up chi stop flowing.....taint itself from their dark
emotions...then destroy them from within.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Sounds great. I love the description and the feeling that comes out of it. I have a snilar poem and it's titled life.
Writing keeps the dream alive
Never

Posted 13 Years Ago


Sometimes our own stupidity and prejudice can strangle us, leave us ostracised from others, thats what i got from your poem. well done :-)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on January 19, 2011
Last Updated on January 19, 2011

Author

Cynthia
Cynthia

Hong Kong



About
Sorry everyone, but I didn't go on this site regularly, I also turn off my read request, but will be up as soon as I find this site... worth spending time on Hello! My name is Cynthia, I'm from Ho.. more..

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