I wont Be Hurt

I have dreamt for you,
I have once loved you,
I used to be in love,
I used to love,
every part of you.

Now I have lost you,
now I am confuse,
why did you go away,
why did you left me.

why do  you need to do this?
Why don't you left me at the first place?
why have you done such thing to me?

If you leave me at the first place,
I wont be hurt,
I wont be hurt anymore.

Author's Note

what do u think?

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: It was a good little poem with good rhetorical questions scattered throughout. I like the flow and story and progression of the poem; it was nice and didn't stagnate in one spot with un-needed description. You got straight to the point.

Cons: My only suggestion would be to find a different word to replace "ditch" Sure, it fits, but it doesn't seem.....poetic enough for this poem, doesn't fit enough with the other words. But that's just my opinion.

Overall: I liked it :)

[Ashley Myers]

i see your point and you have a very good one. some people get offended when someone mentions grammatical errors, so if you're one, please dont take this the wrong way. i love your poem but try pasting it into microsoft word and see what suggestions it gives you.

[Linear]

Well thats just life I guess, we live and we learn, and move on hoping the next time will be different. sweet poem

[Chelsea]

I think, very sad. I know how it feels to love but to give up on it. Just not to feel it anymore, the hurt, ache... But it'll all work out :)
A suggestion I might make to you! Add a few more words, some of your stanzas almost repeat (with a slight variation). But your poem is great as is!
I have once love you,- Doesn't make sense. Maybe change it to "I once loved you"???
Great write!

[Dinesh Sairam]

Well I think,

I have dreamt for you,
I have once loved you,
I used to be in love,
I used to love,
every part of you.

Now I have lost you,
now I am confused,
why did you go away,
why did you ditch me?

why you need to do this?
Why didn't you leave me at the first place?
why have you done such a thing to me?

If you had left me at the first place,
I won't be hurt,
I won't be hurt anymore.

[hannajade]

Nice, I like how you have the person in the poem be strong enough to say "I won't be hurt"

[Sara Mercury]

Yes ... if they didn't lead you on and on and on in the first place ... you might not have fallen in love and thereby ended up hurt by them in the end. Other than grammer problems, this one is nicely put over.

[Arsenic Nemesis]

Wonderful, nicely written and compelling; nice job~

[Calypso]

Amazing! Your word choice is good. The title just oozes empowerment.

[Sweets]

A very good poem, with a great ending.
It's the regret that kills from the inside.
Great job!