A Message To Harley

A Message To Harley

 

Harley, my dearest,

 

I hope you’re here. But it seems like there are no seed heads left for me to wish for. Aren’t they supposed to appear on the late days of summer?

 

I thought that you would walk the aisle in a white dress, and I would be there in the altar waiting for you, waiting for the time to lift your veil and kiss you �" like that one I gave you by the lake, before you bid your life goodbye.

 

I am now married to Julie. She’s kind and considerate. And I should also admit that she’s beautiful. The difference is, she’s not you. She’s not you at all.

 

I had longed to live my days with someone I truly love the most �" with you, though it never happened. I wish you’re here, sitting on the couch with me and telling our stories to our kids. You’ve always wanted to have twins named Dandy and Lionel. But it was only your fantasy, thinking that you would live happily ever after with your Prince Charming. And I wish that would be me.

 

I wish you’re here, in our very own house beside the lake. I wish you were my wife. I wish you were the one who would be up early in the morning to cook me breakfast. I wish you were the one who would peck my lips when I get home from work. I wish your face would be the first thing I see when I wake up. I wish you were the person I would tell my bedtime stories with. You were the only person who listens intensely to me, and who was more interested.

 

It was a huge mistake losing you. I was a mistake letting you go and fall asleep on my lap without telling how I really love you. Tell you how fast my heart beats every time you pass by. Tell you how I adore your smile when I make you laugh. And how your beauty make my knees weak. You were breathtaking.

 

I never realized how you loved me, years ago when you were still breathing. I never even knew that it was your last day. I’ve always wondered why you never told me. Yet maybe because you noticed that I liked Julie, and you thought that you’d have no chance of having you in my heart.

 

Yes, I love Julie. But not the way I loved you, not the way I would hang your hair under your ears, not the way I would cuddle you on Friday nights, not the way I would wrap you in my arms for warmth, and not even the way I was willing to take care of you when you reached stage three, bathing you under the shower because you couldn’t move normally.

 

I love you, Harley, beyond my life. And I wish I should have said this before, so you would be here lying on the bed with me, listening to my stories.

 

Again, I love you, more than anything in this world.

 

Forevermore,

Samuel