Part Two: Return

Part 2 of Hikari's spring

 

Warm light flooded and bathed my face with gentle fingers. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking in the light. Walking to the large window, I drew aside the rest of the curtains. Songs of birds and a cheerful breeze welcomed me through the slit in the window. I stretched, wincing slightly at the angry cracks my body produced. Rubbing my neck absent-mindedly, I thought about the dream-memory.

I wonder how long ago I last saw her. A month ago? Two months? My concept of time had always been hazy, especially when my lifestyle became the same. The same cycles and patterns. I covered my face in my hands, shaking it away. I glanced at the clock. It was only eight. There is no point in sleeping anymore.

After pulling on a pair of jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, I went down the stairs. Striding past the bookshelf, I pulled out the cookbook. Flipping through the thin pages wrinkling from much use, I glided my finger down the table of contents.

Eggs? No…never been a fan of those…

Waffles? Maybe…I think we have batter…

Pancakes? Sure, I guess. Let’s see what types… I flicked through and found the section. I glanced at the names and pictures, walking into the kitchen. After making sure that there was no water, I set the book down and leaned on the counter. Let’s see. I think I’ll make plain for myself, blueberry for mom and dad, and chocolate for Hikari. She likes chocolate.

As I went to get the ingredients, I went past the phone. There was a little note taped onto the wall beside it. Careful not chip the paint, I took it down and read it.

Good morning Ryoto,

Dad and I are out on a business conference. We’ll be out for the day and will be back before dinner. Hikari came late last night so she’ll probably be waking up later. We left a number at the bottom so you can call if anything happens. Have fun and love you!

Love, Mom and Dad

I copied the number down onto another sheet. Crumpling the note, I threw it out. So, the menu is a plain for me and a chocolate for Hikari.

I was finishing up the last plain waffle when I heard the stairs creak and the sound of footsteps. The footsteps were slow. She must still be tired.

“G…good…morn…ing…”

“Good morning Hika-” I glanced up at her and stopped. She was a mess. Her long midnight hair was in disarray. Her buttoned shirt that was inside out and only one button was buttoned properly. Her light blue undershirt showed though the gap. Her jeans hung loosely but stayed with the belt. She leaned against the wall and, unable to stand, collapsed at the bottom. I rushed over. Pushing back her wave of hair, her eyes were closed and her breath was short. Her face was flushed against the ivory. I put a hand against her forehead. Sure enough, it burned against my skin.

“Hey, Hikari. Hikari. Can you stand?”

She mumbled something incoherently, eyes still closed. I put my hand around her waist and slung the arm around my shoulder. I stood, staggering a little under the weight. We paused every now and then. We managed to reach the stairs. Piggybacking her to her room, I laid her down on her bed. By then, she had woken and sat up on her own. She put her head in her hand.

“Ryoto? What happened…?” she tried to stand.

“Hikari!” She wobbled a little and then fell against me. I sat down on the edge of her bed. Her head rolled against my neck. Glancing down, she had fallen asleep.

Slowly, I put her head down onto the pillow. I pulled the blanket on top of her. Sitting on the edge and waiting for the thermometer to beep, I watched her face. Her face eventually smoothed and her breath told me that she was sleeping soundly. When I heard the quiet beeping, I pulled the rod and looked at its tiny screen. 101.2° F. Yup, she had a fever. I got a wet cloth and put it over her forehead.

Eating my breakfast as quickly as I could, I went back upstairs and brought my homework to Hikari’s room. She was the same as I had left her. I took her temperature again. It had dropped to an even 101° F. I worked on my Calculus homework. A few times, she muttered something in her sleep.

At around eleven, most of my homework was finished. I stood up and stretched. I went and changed the cloth over her head. Her face was starting to lose the redness. As I was adjusting it on her head, the doorbell rang. Stepping towards the window I parted the curtain. Seeing who it was, I quickly closed it again with enough force that the curtain almost ripped. Carefully controlling the rush of feelings, I went downstairs to the kitchen and called the number my parents gave me. I tapped my foot impatiently.

Ring…ring…ring…

“Hello?”

“Dad?”

“Ryoto? Did something-”

“You didn’t tell me he was coming,” I interrupted, shaking, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We did, Ryoto,” he said, sounding as though it was obvious as daylight. “It was written on the paper.”

Not believing him, I picked out the sheet from the trash can. Straightening the wrinkled edges, I scanned over it. All I could see were the things I already saw. “Where is it?”

“On the back, of course.”

I flipped it over. Sure enough, the sentence that I had missed, that now came back to haunt me, was written in black ink and clear as daylight.

“Oh, I see it.”

“Is there anything else?”

“Hikari got sick, but she’s getting better. I’ll go check on her. Bye.”

Without waiting for his reply, I slammed the phone back into its place. I tried to steady myself and was so caught up in my whirl of thoughts that I didn’t hear the uneven footsteps. Dark hair fell into my field of vision.

“Hikari!”

“What’s wrong?” her violet eyes examined every feature of my face, hoping to find an answer, a sign.

I turned away. “He’s here.” My voice stung the word with venom.

She opened her mouth, but, after a moment’s hesitation, clamped it shut again. Her expression suggested the phrase “too touchy.” Silence cried its wordless shriek that filled the room with its power. Hikari shifted restlessly, almost afraid of what I might do.

“Let’s go upstairs,” I said finally.

Her body visibly relaxed. A smile crossed her face and she nodded. I tried to fake a small smile and it must’ve been convincing enough because she took my hand in her warm hand. We went up stairs slowly. She fell against the folds of her blanket. Her violet eyes closed and she was soon asleep.

 “Hikari,” I said softly, trying to rouse her, “Hikari. Your medicine. You still need to take your pills. And you need to pull your blanket up. You’re shivering.”

Her only response was to curl her legs closer to her body and murmured softly.

I sighed. I went to the medicine cabinet in my parent’s room and brought out the bottle. As I let the little capsules slide out, I momentarily went into a daze, thinking about the person outside. When I came to, I saw it let five rose-colored pills come out instead of the two she needed. I put two on her bedside table and a glass of water. She can take it when she wakes up.

I was restless and kept getting up to check the window. I paced, tapped my foot impatiently, anything, but nothing worked to divert my mind from the person outside the house. I pulled out my homework, but I couldn’t concentrate. I tried to read the section about fevers and how to cure them in the book of simple medicines my parents kept. I had already memorized it so it didn’t keep my mind distracted. Finally, after about fifteen tortured minutes, I went downstairs to make tea for her.

Staring at the water boiler, I tried to remember her favorite flavor of tea. Right, it was cherry. I went to the cabinet and pulled the box out. As I waited for the blood of the teabag to stain the clear steaming water, I gazed out the window. Though I tried to focus on the blooming plum blossom outside the house, my eyes were drawn to the driveway that snaked past the window. There he was, leaning against the dark brown truck, and was reading a book. I immediately cringed and closed the curtains.

Hikari was still sleeping soundly when I put the steaming mug beside her bed. I picked up my binder for AP English and, failing to concentrate on the ideas of Lao- Tzu, promptly shut it again. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn’t concentrate, not even on things that usually interested me. I gave up.

I stood in front of the wooden door, the only thing that separated me and him. Just the thought of him, waiting on the other side, was enough to make me grip the handle much harder than I needed to. I took a moment to control myself.

As the chain lock fell down and the door opened with a small click, I remembered the words on the sheet that I had missed.

Kazuki is coming to visit. He wanted to see you…

And there he was, smiling slightly at me. Wait, I thought, he was smiling at me, not down at me. Then I realized. He wasn’t the tall brother that I had to crane my neck to see into his eyes. He was only a couple of inches taller than me. I took a step back.

He hadn’t changed much. His jet-black hair fell into his blue-green eyes. It was long in the front, falling to the middle of his straight nose, and was short in the back. He wore a light green t-shirt and jeans. A rough and slightly tanned hand was buried in his pocket, the other, leaned against the door frame. This was my brother Kazuki.

His sharp eyes scanned over me. They came up and linked with mine. In a voice that was a few notes lower than I remembered, he said, “Hey.”

My anger flared high causing my body tensed. “What do you want?”

“You got taller, didn’t you?” he said, ignoring my remark. His eyes grazed over my head, almost as if he was measuring me.

“What are you doing here?”

He looked at me again. “Spring break, of course.”

I glared at him, fighting to control myself. “Are you here to visit her?” I stained the word with spite.

“Who? Clara? No,” he replied, waving a hand carelessly.

“Then tell me what you are doing here?” I don’t know why I asked. I already knew the answer. The paper already told me.

“I want to see my family again,” he said. He met my eyes. “Is that a crime?”

Series of biting comments flew to my mouth but I bit my tongue to stop myself.

A slight creak in the stairs drew both of our eyes up. Hikari blushed.

Kazuki stood up straighter. “Hey there,” He slid past me with more grace than someone his size would have. He offered a hand to her. “I’m Hoshino Kazuki, Ryoto’s brother. And you are…?”

“Tomita Hikari,” she replied, gazing in my brother’s eyes. She took his hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

I flinched at the happy atmosphere that they just created. “Hikari,” I said, glaring at my brother, “you should go back to sleep. You’re still haven’t recovered yet.”

“I-I-” she said, startled at my harsh tone.

“Just go,” I said with much more roughness than necessary. “I can take care of this.”

She nodded once and said a quiet apology to Kazuki, who smiled and told her it was ok, before going upstairs. His blue-green eyes followed her.

“So, she’s the girl mom and dad were talking about,” he muttered more to himself. “Cute.”

Still glaring intensely at him, I snarled, “Don’t you dare…”

He grinned a little before wandering into the living room. I took a ragged deep breath before following him. He was already in the kitchen, pressing buttons on the water boiler.

“I’ll make the tea,” I said, pushing him away.

He laughed a little. “You still remember that incident? Don’t worry, I’m more careful now.” Seeing no reaction, he shrugged and said, “I’ll get the tea bags.”

After some shuffling, he set the box down beside me. A quick glance told me he got my favorite— green. He stood next to me, quiet and watching. The silence was only broken by the steam rising from the boiler.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this place,” he said suddenly.

“It’s only been a year,” I replied watching the water bubble.

“I know,” he sighed, “but this place has so many memories.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say in return so I went and got a mug for him. As I reached up for one, my hand grazed by his favorite one, light green with dark green bands. I remembered when we made it when we were younger, laughing together and getting the other dirty with the paint. I hesitated. Shaking my head, I brought it down and filled it with steaming hot water.

I carried it to the living room where he was waiting. Seeing him leaning comfortably on the couch, eyes closed, I noticed how much he seemed to fit here. I set the mug down and said, turning away, “Enjoy your stay.”

His only response was to sit up and hold the steaming mug in his hands. His eyes seemed to mist over as he gazed at the cup.

Just when I was about to pass through the doorway leading to the stairs, he said quietly, “You know, I’m sorry for what I did.”

I froze with my hand on the door frame. I didn’t want to turn back, but my head gazed over my shoulder.

His eyes rose and met mine. All laughter died and was replaced by sadness and a tinge of pleading. “I know it will take months,” he continued, setting the mug down. “Maybe even years for you to forgive me, if you do at all. But I want you to know that I’m here. If you ever need me, I’m always here for you, Ryo.”

I hesitated. The hand on the frame clenched then rested against the cool wood. I turned to look at him fully. Dark blue eyes uncertainly met dark green that shone back intently. His posture indicated that he would, if he had to, wait for a long time for my answer.

For that one moment, I forgot all anger, all hate. “Of course. I know you will be there” was the first thing that flew through my mind. A jolt shot through me. What was I thinking?

“Y-yeah” was the only thing I could manage. With that, I escaped the room. As I turned, I saw, fleetingly, a sad look cross over his face. That image burned into my mind.

I collapsed on my bed. Long hours of running for basketball practice trained me to have higher stamina, but somehow, in that few feet up the stairs to my room, knocked me out of breath. I put my arm over my face. Kazuki’s pained face flashed through my mind again. It stayed for a moment, and then melted into Hikari’s. Her smile shone briefly then was replaced with the hurt look. I bared my teeth, hating myself. I am pathetic, I thought. All I can do is hurt everyone…

I stared at the ceiling. But I had a good reason for hating Kazuki and her. After all, he was the one who took her away from me…

 

Author's Note

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