Remember

Mother turned to me and asked,

"Son, when all of my life has past,

and I am approaching death fast,

will you remember me?"

I assured her that I will

always remember her still

while she grew secretly ill

at only forty-three.

"Son, when I have a long time aged,

and am in old age ever caged

and after you are still engaged,

will you remember me?"

I would remember her, indeed.

I told her, hoping she'd agreed.

Her life moved on with ruthless speed,

at only fifty-three.

"Son when I have grown much too old

and all of my blood does run cold,

will you be here, my hand to hold,

as you remember me?"

Standing by her bed, I'd flown

in from the West Coast. I'd known

that this could be her final throne

at only sixty-three.

I looked upon my mother's bed,

and patted gently her sick head.

With one last prayer, I finally said

what I hoped she would see.

"No matter where life takes me to,

and no matter what I must do,

this will not be the last for you

at only sixty-three."

After those rash words I felt

as if the final blow'd been dealt.

I felt her figure slowly melt

into the all of me.

After that, she slept just right,

alone and trying just to fight.

She wished she had my hand that night.

She died at sixty-three.

"Mother, whatever I do

and all the people I'm shown to

can not replace the love I knew.

I will remember you."

I knelt there on that soaking ground;

my fist against my head did pound.

Only the headstones all around.

"I will remember you."

Author's Note

Thanks for reading :) Comments below are very much welcomed

Reviews

[Riley Justine]

This is a very powerful poem, and extremely well written.

[Amy R]

remarkable work!
i loved it.,
well done!!

[Not here]

thank you amy :) (ill keep saying thank you)

[Amy R]

ahhaha, i see that ... ur welcome :)

[Not here]

yep :) amen

[andrew mitchell]

An epic write you have written tightly formatted

[Not here]

thanks andrew :) i appreciate it

[closed]

a poem that carries with it the eternal love of a mother

immortal


-Dream

[Not here]

thanks :) i appreciate it alot

[Rajat malik]

It is a nice work...hope it's dedicated to your mom

[Not here]

thank you alot :)

[Kshitij Gupta]

This was very moving, indeed. The way you have conveyed this so well in simple language, is amazing.
Kudos

[Not here]

thakn you :)

[Mara]

Brilliant piece, great rhythm and flow

[Not here]

thank you tee :)

[Robert]

Wow! This was really good Dante. Man you have the talent of writing with you, keep it up because your doing a real good job of it. This was a very heart telling piece, very sad.

[Not here]

thank you very much Robert :)

[The Waterlily Pad]

Amazing. Utterly amazing. It's so sweet and innocent. And the rhythm isn't so consistent and changed a little at the end... It's really beautiful and delicate. It's obvious that the purpose in the poem was evidently linked with the title.

For improvements, I would add a little it more poetic contexts into this, to sound more like a lulling piece, prehaps a little bit of similes, describe the love of her, show you remember her, give a poetic imagery paragraph or stanza about her to haunt the audience of your strong affections for your mother. If you can remember her, maybe describe something that you really admire and that's so different then turn it into something seemingly poetic and extravagant! Maybe it could be her soft hands that are big and soft, they feel like hands of guidance, guiding you for 30 years maybe? Something that hints this along the lines, a unique thing.


This was a great read. Thank you!

[Not here]

thank you and i will keep that in mind for sure :)

[ApKWrites]

Amazing, great use of words and rhyme!

[Not here]

thank you alot :)