I Wanna Be Top Writer

Inspired by the Writers cafe's secret society s**t storm. A not to bad of an idea that quickly went awry

Straight to the top of the poetry chart
That's a fair deal to me
I don't want to work or do anything
Just hand it all to me

I can't be bothered to send RR's
I'm too cool to review
I'm too brilliant to learn to write
Cause I'm better than you

I write free verse with my eyes closed
hammered on whiskey sours
Hemingway was drunk off his a*s
That's how I spend my hours

So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked

When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed

Can't you see my brilliant genius
I shouldn't have to work
I don't want to write my way up
Cause I'm a lazy jerk

I don't wanna play the WC game
The social network shtick
I don't want to write reviews for
A bunch of rubes and hicks

So gimmi gimmi gimmi that top spot
I want it right away
Screw you chumps who worked for it
Who cares about fair play

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah-h-h-h, my dear BR. Who has decided to piss in your Rice Crispies, my friend? Whoever it was, you ought to bow, then extend a warm and hearty—"Hey, thank you!"—'cause this poem here, it's a keeper! They have certainly inspired you to write a scathing, wicked satirical poem, which makes many valid points, I might add. I will say one rather derogatory thing about WC...It certainly ain't the place for writers of stories to go, that's fer damn sure! Just look at the live feed, for example. Poem, poem, poem, poem, poem comment on poem, poem...ad infinitum. I prefer to write stories. That's why I'm rarely ever here anymore. No one wants to take the time, it seems, to read a story. I'm no poet, that's a given. But, I do know what I like, and this little gem is going in my personal library.

As I said earlier, it's a keeper!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dean. Sadly that is true about stories and the WC. Poets are ADD cases.

[Emily B]

invite me to a story and i will read it

[Nusquam Esse]

How unfortunate that his profile was closed. I was actually curious what his stories would be about.

[Philip Muls]

Which site is good for stories ? Any tips ? Regards Philip

[Rosalind Gale]

Hi Rico,
Having been off here for a while it was lovely to come back and read this. Putting into words what it appears so many others feel. (It sounds like I've missed a recent s**t storm here). I like your writing, and I like getting to 'know' writers through their poems. That's all - I just want to write and read poems from writers I've gotten to know and some who just pass through. The rest is just for the birds, I guess. This is throwaway and funny, with a heart, too. Hope you are doing good.
-x-

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you rosalind.

[Eddie Phillips]

Brother I love this poem and the message. I also love the picture! Wow! I found myself agreeing and laughing with every single line. Yet again you floor me!

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you eddie

[icelandicblue]

I cannot tell you how much I love this poem. It truly made me laugh. Why is it we must feel the compunction to be king of the hill in everything we do- Here we're supposed to be poets using words to create images and elicit the whole gamut of emotions from our readers. We're here to express ourselves. But there are some who just cannot resist "the contest." The point system here is bizarre to me and you exposed its flaws and more importantly our flaws in this fantastically ironic poem. Great job and a pleasure to read.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Blue

[icelandicblue]

The picture, by the way, is perfect. You have some of the best humorous poems on the site.

[Shivam Murari]

While reading the poem I was doing two things.
- Laughing my intestines out.
- Having a rap tune in the back of my head.

Very nice write. I guess this poem did make to the TOP SPOT. I had seen it on No. 3 one day. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you shivam

[quinfinn]

i thought i had left a review on this piece. it matters not, what i say is only prologue,,,for i have witnessed....first hand...this onslaught of devious deception. i write now, only for the sake of writing ...the poseurs are soon to be revealed and will lose their grip on our favorite haunt.....mark my words, changes are coming....be content to be included and to contribute your art and beauty...w/c is a home to many of us, we love our camaraderie and kinship...and the meek shall inherit........well penned, Mark.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you quinfinn

[quinfinn]

certainly....

[saratogaparty]

Secret society? What? haha

Man, I don't even feel like i'm part of this site anymore.

[Baby Ricochet]

You didn't miss anything. Just a lot of huffing and puffing

[Jo Todd]

This poem really made me laugh, nice to see someone being brutally honest for once. Give my poem STFU a read sometime I feel it has similarities in message that you might enjoy.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you jo

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL!!!!!!!!

[Ohhhwillow]

Haha the little girl in that picture looks such a brat! I was trying to grasp whether this was your sincerity or comedy being communicated.. I know that frustrated feeling, of wanting so badly to be acknowledged but not wanting to have to go through all of the tiring length to being put on the top pedestal! Good work Baby

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you willow

[sakshi arora]

its just so great . what a poet you are with novel ideas .the picture compliments your poem

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Sakshi. I appreciate your input