New Beginnings

Every year at the end of August, students everywhere prepare to start a new school year. We go shopping, buy new things, and prepare ourselves for new studies. We think about all of the possibilities: new friendships, new teachers, new options. New...

About a year ago, I felt all of these things. Everything was about to change because I was going into my first year of college. I was excited, and I welcomed the changed until reality did not square up with my expectations. I was more than prepared for my setting to change, but I did not anticipate the fall to rock bottom and the diligent climb back up the mountain. It seemed as if every day new struggles appeared, struggles that were not the easiest to deal with emotionally. My relationships with people deteriorated not only because of the new distance, but also because of a realization that I had made. I no longer attempted to stay in touch with those who did not make an effort with me. I lost a few friends and drifted a little bit from others. I started to have more bad days than good, classes were getting more difficult, and I really had no idea of who I was as a person. 

My emotions were tied in a knot that seemed impossible to figure out. I had always took pride in the fact that I didn't let petty things bother me, but that all changed when I went to college. All of a sudden, I cared that people didn't like me. I cared that people lied and hurt me. I cared that people didn't talk to me. I felt emotion on a whole new level, and I felt like I was going backwards. It was a concept that I did not understand, but got through. Despite the emotional roller coaster, I had lived through my first year of college and was proud of my accomplishments. 

Looking back on the year seems slightly depressing, but it encourages me to have a better year. Yes, I did not think half of the events that occurred would ever happen, and I know that life is going to throw me a few curve balls this year too, but as the summer winds downs, I find myself feeling optimistic. I have spent the past few days laughing and having a great time with friends. Yes, it's the end of summer, but i'm considering it the beginning of a great school year. 

Naturally, transition periods, such as the time that students get ready to return to school, bring change. They are the time that many of us decide that we will no longer dwell in the past, that we will look to the future for happiness and pleasure. I did not wake up this morning feeling any different than I had yesterday or the day before that. There is never a distinct time that we turn over a new leaf; sometimes we just wake up and realize the change. 

Today, I simply realized the change in myself. I am not the same person that I was a year ago, and this year does not have to be like last year. I have the power to write my life as I please, and I choose to make it better. I'm positive that it won't go as planned, but when things get rough, I'm going to remember how I feel in this moment. I feel empowered and ready to tackle the world. I feel confident, and nothing can change that. So whenever you decide its time to start writing a new chapter in your life, whether it be on New Years or just a random day, remember how it feels. Remember your determination, your confidence, and your hope for the future because those feelings will help you write your happy ending. 

Author's Note

It is supposed to be a motivational piece, but I had a bit of trouble writing. I hope it helps someone somewhere turn over a new leaf. Any comments are greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

I feel it's very important to address these difficult times. It's one thing to hear "You'll be fine! Things get better" and another to see someone's struggle, both the good and the bad, and to see how that person finally made it out on top. It seems that more often than not, such drastic changes like college really do change a person. I know it certainly did for me. I think what you wrote here really could help someone.

[Deana Leigh]

thank you!

[PaintedBirdy]

hey Deana!

i like how you write these stories. i can often relate to the small moments within them. i stopped hanging out with every single one of my friends that didn't go to college, as well. and i made an entirely new friend group too. i became pretty much a completely different person during college too. oh, and i became pretty much a completely different person the year after college too, soooo maybe expect a similar change like that then too, haha!

yep, tons of changes...can't feel them immediately but know they happened along the way. i 100% understand that. and overall, i now miss being in college! thanks for sharing this story! i hope you have an amazing experience for the rest of your time there :)

[PaintedBirdy]

oh i was a communication studies major too. focused on public relations too :) if you ever have questions about any of it, feel free to message me :) have i mentioned this before? i'm not sure.

[Deana Leigh]

You haven't mentioned that, but that is awesome! I might message you sometime about potential jobs that I could go into. I only have a few ideas as to what I would want to do after college. Thanks for reading!