Hot Air Balloon

I release myself from the desire

of wanting you.

Like a hot air balloon

sent straight to the moon.

Alien as the desires

that never came through.

Reviews

[Shaquana Adams]

Nice! Short and simple. The internal rhyme in the middle stanza really helped the poem read smoothly. Great job putting a sometimes complex problem in a simply solution poem. If I had one problem it would be use of the word "desire" twice in such a short poem. I'd substitute one of them with a synonym of the word instead. Great job Diana!

[Diana]

I see your point, but desire fits best with what I was trying to say. Thanks for the review, Shaquana!

[Brittany Zedalis]

Well done. The message came through clear. Sometimes people have to realize that letting go is the best thing to do in order to be happy. Dwelling never solves anything.

[Cassie]

This poem has feeling of being free. Nice message here

[Diana]

Umm...thanks.

[Rita L. Sev]

Superb simile here, Diana, and the message comes through vividly.

[Diana]

Thanks again, Rita.

[Sami Khalil]

Metaphor is outstanding. The poem is so clever...Bravo..........

[Diana]

Thanks, Sami. And I was worried it was too short.

[Sami Khalil]

I like it...Short but powerful...The idea is good...:)......

[Frieda P]

Brava Diana...succinct and stunning.

[Diana]

Thank you, Frieda. I almost called you Friday...whoops.

[Frieda P]

That's fine, I've been called worse...welcome.