Seep

wrote this at 2:23 AM, once I started I couldn't stop until it was completed.

three weeks of denial growing inside

a place that has no room for another heartbeat,

i let him seep

in between my thighs like a thief

he stole the life from my eyes and left me to dry in a heap of shattered bones and tears.

sitting on broken shadows and empty bottles of

worry and hope maybe he just wasnt that into you

say the voices filled with ‘i told you so’s”

i have no room to feel sorry for a situation

that i allowed myself to be

placed into

the hands of a man who couldn’t love me the way

i loved him

no more mention of a family after my panties

touched the floor and the flesh

of my thighs rubbed up against his back

and his lips touched places that were meant to be kept

clothed and my breath

became shallow under the weight of hollowed souls

and empty life.

 

two months of defeat

growing inside a place that is getting hard to ignore

i let him crawl.

into my bed with promises of happiness and

whispers of sweet nothings so entwined

in thoughts that i let his actions slip my mind

and i fell into a place that is most often defined as

love.

letting the lines between happiness and satisfaction blur like the edges

of the paper that told me i needed someone

maybe i should have been more careful but maybe

he should have

let me blow past him like the wind softly swaying the trees now i

sway with the sound of two heartbeats in a steel room

full of despair and heartache.

they don’t belong in the flourescent light of lost faith.

 

6 months of new life growing inside a place that seemed too tight

to fit the result of playful banter and his empty touch and

hollow voice echo in my ears.

still etched with the remembrance of fear

loneliness calls the only part of my mind that isn’t filled with

sweet lullabies of what if’s and not now’s.

letting the memories take flight touching the clouds

with calloused hands and swollen feet.

i pray for the day when my hands are free from the overwhelming

defeat

this life has been cruel but i have something left to keep me

pushing.

 

10 months of a life that grew inside my

abused body filled with the glowing

treasure of harmony and symphonies

this beauty is new to life but old to me and he

is gone in a heap of old

letters littered with ashes, booze,

and lust.

there was never any trust but still

i let him

seep

in between my thighs like a thief

stealing away the life in my eyes and placing it gently

into my womb.