hush

Hush.

hear the silence of the world as you hold your tounge.

such a rush,

pure energy can be drained from the lonely.

this is us,

the things we say will hurt you,

that's what they were meant to do,

we are crushed.

stuck between the emptiness of our thighs,

the darkness of colorless eyes,

we only live to survive,

our hearts burst.

leaving only the residue behind,

unrepairable this time,

but your will is stronger than mine.

only if I must,

my hands tremble at the sound,

yours reach for the ground,

true meanings are never found,

and we are very much alive.

Reviews

[Bhumika Devkota]

Well done. It has a lot of passion, again well done

[destiny]

much appreciated!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Hush.

hear the silence of the world as you hold your tongue.
such a rush,
pure energy can be drained from the lonely.

this is us,
the things we say will hurt you,
that's what they were meant to do,
we are crushed.

stuck between the emptiness of our thighs,
the darkness of colorless eyes,
we only live to survive,
our hearts burst.

leaving only the residue behind,
not repairable this time,
but your will is stronger than mine.

only if I must,
my hands tremble at the sound,
yours reach for the ground,
true meanings are never found,
and we are very much alive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The construction of this verse speaking and the internal rhyme is present...as I read your work...I did edit this for you --- seems the structure is not befit of what you wanted it to look like for the reader...I believe you will agree --- yet I'm just the observer this time around and you are the writer of this work...

[Blogger]

Well done! I like the anticipation and the turns in this write. You should add a pic to this one though and the spelling is "tongue".

[destiny]

thanks ! and I realized the spelling after I submitted it but didn't know how to go back in and correct it, lol thanks for the review!