The Misunderstood Dragon

A Story by dw817

He pounded his chest with a free hand, "Yes, midear, it is I ! Fortis The Brave Knight ! And I will vanquish this beast and rescue you from yon prison that you may gaze upon my loveliness !"

The Misunderstood Dragon

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This story is Rated: EVERYONE

... no, further than that. Still further. Almost there. Right ! A long LONG long time ago back when people still thought the Earth was flat, the world was young, and children's breakfast cereal really was just sugar-flavored wood chips with milk, there was a great Kingdom of Somnium.

And while it seemed things were well on the surface, in truth it was not.

No, for we lived in age of DRAGONS ! Fearsome beasts, with green scaly skin, sharp teeth and claws and most frightening of all, breath so bad it burned like fire coming out !

Why, every day he would come into the kingdom's village and gobble up 3 beautiful damsels for breakfast, 2 for afternoon tea, and an additional 4 before retiring for the evening !

The King of Somnium, Bardus, was the ruler of this land, and while he meant well, sometimes he didn't think things all the way through. He was married to Temeraius, his wife, and she bore him 2 children, Audax a boy, and Tenera a girl.

As his wife got older, she would often take long walks out at night. Yet one time she didn't return ! The king sent out his soldiers to comb the countryside for her, but there was no trace. Sadly he had given her up for lost.

Returning to his duties, he raised his children. His son had grown up handsome and strong and his daughter's beauty and fragility was only compared by the goddesses of legend. With more maidens missing from the village, the king had has fill !

His son, Audax, older now, felt his Father's torment and vowed to fight this dragon ! Bardus agreed to this for his son was indeed a great and powerful Prince now whose fighting skills and prowess were none the which the world had ever seen.

There was a great ceremony when he left and Audax rode out of the castle on a great white steed in full decorative armor and a long lance made out of the sharpest and finest steel of the land. It was of the hardest substance too, and was assured it would never break under any circumstances. He would surely slay the dragon with this !

The King expected immediate results. Unfortunately several days passed and there was no word from him. The king woke up early one day from a restless night of sleep and found his son's shield and lance left at the front of his castle.

But worse still, the lance despite it's sturdiness was snapped in two, like a piece of cheap plywood. Clearly the beast had left it there to let the king know that he had devoured his son.

A night passed with the king trying to decide what to do when suddenly his own daughter went missing ! He sent soldiers out to look for her and one returned with her torn shawl by the foot of the woods - near the cave - where the dragon lived !

A soldier ventured further and saw that his daughter was being held in a golden cage in the dragon's chambers. Apparently she wasn't to be eaten as the other damsels were, but to be kept as an ornament for the foul beast !

So the king sent out a summons to other lands, seeking the greatest and most powerful knights to assist him and rescue his daughter, but unfortunately, none ever returned. Knights were running short in the land and many knew of this terrible dragon now and few ever wanted to face the fearsome beast.

But one day a new knight came into town boasting he could take on anything and everything. He went by the name of Fortis. The King desperate for justice requested his presence in the palace. Sir Fortis agreed and met the king in his audience chambers.

Bardus noticed immediately that this knight seemed a little different than the others. For one thing he was unbelievably handsome. Blond-haired blue-eyed, he was like a god to mortal man ! His muscles rippled when he walked and his teeth were so bright and shiny they sparkled like polished ivory.

"Well hi there, handsome !" he said in a richly deep and masculine voice to a mirror hanging in the chambers. He was the heroes to end all heroes !

The king smiled, for despite how this hero looked it was quite clear by him talking to himself in a mirror that he was, if nothing else, quite vain. But he ignored all this and graciously said to him, "Sir Fortis ! If you can defeat this fearsome dragon beast, I will reward you with anything in my kingdom !"

"Tut tut." the knight said and held up a beautiful gauntlet stopping the king from bestowing any favors. "That is not necessary. All in a day's work I say !"

The king caught himself from laughing. All the other knights he sent out earlier all clearly wanted something from the palace's treasury in return and this idiot was going to do it for free ??

"Well -uhh- that's fine, sir knight !" the King said. "Yes, good deeds are their own reward after all !"

"Absolutely !" the knight said and returned back to the mirror and removing a gauntlet, licked the tip of his fingers and went to adjust his hair to get it within microns of what he wanted within perfection.

The King shifted his feet uneasily, "Right - well then. I - suppose you'll be leaving now."

"Absolutely !" the knight repeated and then put on the craziest helmet you ever saw. It was a beautiful knight's helmet except that for an ornament on the top it had a small figure of a hand making the sign of victory and pink tassels trailing behind it.

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Fortis left the palace to his awaiting steed outside.

"What a pompous idiot." King fortis commented quietly to himself, but he was glad to have another knight in his employ, even one so vain.

Fortis outside was riding a tall white horse and ornamented all over it were little golden stars and hearts and long pink ribbons over the saddle. As he mounted his steed and rode past the village, no-one said a word about how silly he looked because he truly was handsome beyond all compare.

In a short amount of time he reached the cave. He dismounted and pulled out this incredibly long and shiny sword. As he did so he suddenly caught his reflection in the blade and paused to use it as a mirror to adjust his hair again.

Finally he entered the cave. Curiously the first creature he came across was a beautiful winged beast, not a dragon, a Phoenix ! But it was out of his reach and flew on ahead of him, as if leading the way.

Fortis didn't have to travel much further though because right there in his path - was the dragon ! And high up in a beautiful golden cage was the princess. And she was truly smitten at how handsome this new knight looked.

"Have at thee foul beast of the underworld !" Fortis exclaimed and smacked the dragon hard on his toe as he was an enormous sized beast compared to him.

The dragon growled in pain but suddenly Tenera spoke, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing ?"

"Excuse me ?" Fortis asked kindly and looking up saw her for the first time.

"Oh my." he whispered breathlessly, undoubtedly captured by her beauty as she was with his handsomeness.

He held his shining sword aloft and pounded his chest with his other hand, "Yes, midear, it is I ! Fortis The Brave Knight ! And I will vanquish this beast and rescue you from yon prison that you may gaze upon my loveliness !"

"What !?" she yelled back totally confused by his words.

"I mean - -uhh- I will defeat this dragon that I may gaze upon YOUR loveliness midear !"

So saying he reached back his sword and started to swing again.

"Stop !!" she yelled again even louder.

Fortis sighed to lean an elbow on the massive sword as he planted it in the Earth. "Now look here, my good, and may I say quite beautiful princess, don't you think that -" he began holding his hands up apologetically when suddenly the dragon whipped his tail hard into Fortis slamming him hard against the wall.

"Oh ! You see what you've done ?" Fortis said a little flustered, but got back up and bounced up and down on his toes angrily. "So that's how you want it, oh Scaly One ! You want to play games now do you ?"

"Queensberry Rules it is ! Put up your dukes you - you giant lizard you !" and Fortis rotated his fists in front of him as if to crazily punch the dragon now.

Tenera yelled, "No, I mean stop ! You can't ! That's my brother !"

"Brother ?" Fortis asked, and his hands fell at his sides in confusion.

The dragon growled once at the knight but then turned around and reached up and opened the cage to let Tenera out. He held her in his claw and set her down carefully on the ground.

"But !" Fortis stammered, "You've been kidnapped !" and he pointed to the cage. "I have to slay the foul beast ! That's my job !"

"No, that's my brother." she explained. "The real dragon was actually an evil wizard and he escaped now. He had an evil enchantment and traded places with my brother. He tricked him into taking this cursed piece of jewelry."

"But you were in a cage !" Fortis said, not believing his ears.

"That's for my Mother, she was enchanted too. I was cleaning the cage when you arrived." she said. Then she looked up and whistled loudly. A beautiful rainbow-colored bird flew straight into the cage and roosted on the bar in there. The dragon tapped one claw against the cage and closed it.

Tenera explained, "That's my Mother, also enchanted." She pointed at the dragon, "Years ago our Mother told him to never leave her side, and he has been faithful to that."

She whistled and Audax, the dragon, reached up to open the cage. The phoenix flew down to embrace Aero in her feathery folds.

"What about eating the girls from the village ?"

"The other dragon did that. My brother is a good and kind-hearted and found a crop of edible mushrooms in the back of the cave and has had those instead."

"But but - he must've come into the castle to capture you !" Fortis wanted to find some fault with this story.

Tenera shook her head angrily and yelled:

"You idiot ! Things are not always as they seem !"

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Fortis was quiet in her young but commanding voice.

Finally she added softer, "No, understand Sir Knight. That my Father was so inept at handling this I finally decided to find out what happened to my brother. I found him turned into a dragon and my Mom turned into a Phoenix and I was so distressed I couldn't leave either and have been keeping them company all these years."

"So - what about slaying the dragon !?" Fortis looked completely upset now. It was clear he enjoyed this hero business and seeing that opportunity was going to be taken from him was really depressing him now.

"If you want to help, you can smash the cursed crystal and it will release both of them. I tried but I'm not strong enough. And my Mom and Brother can't go near it because they are enchanted by it."

"But - I came to rescue you !" he said and blubbered uncomfortably. Then unable to word it any better, he reached out and pulled her close to him. It was a lovely scene. She smiled shyly and tapped his iron-strong chest with her delicate fingers.

"Rescue my family first and you'll get your reward, loverboy."

He nodded seriously, "Indeed ! Very well ! I Fortis, son of Lord Faatus shall lift the curse of this evil wizard and set your family to FREEDOM !" He said it with a dramatic flair and flung her aside as if he were in a dance.

"Ow !" she said as she fell on the stone cold floor of the cave. She stood back up and rubbed her bruised bottom looking angrily at him.

"Where is the cursed object ?" he asked her.

Still rubbing her side she showed him the far side of the cave and there on a velvet pedestal was the loveliest most beautiful thing you had ever seen. It was a jewel, beautiful and faceted with many cuts and it held a pretty blue and violet glow within that pulsated invitingly.

"Strike it now !" Tenera said.

Fortis shook his head to clear it. The curse of the jewel was also in it's beauty and few men could dare resist touching it. But he was ready, and reaching back his sword smashed it against the jewel. There was a flash of light and rainbow-colored waves of energy spewed forth wrapping themselves around the dragon and Phoenix.

The magic shimmered around them for a moment longer and suddenly - they were transformed into humans again ! And while they were naked curious black rectangles and squares floated inches in front of them, covering their nudity.

Fortis returned to see Audax, and as he turned the rectangles shifted to always stay in the camera's view. It was odd indeed.

"What is causing that ?" Fortis asked and touched one where it savagely burned his finger.

"Oh, it's hot !" he said putting the pained finger in his mouth.

"Censorship." Audax said disgustedly. Tenera nodded, perfectly understanding.

Suddenly Tenera thrust herself into Fortis's arms and wrapping her hands around the back of his neck pulled him down for a romantic kiss. Rich melodic and heroic music played from the top of the cave and everyone grinned at each other.

"Aww, c'mon, sis !" the brother chided as she and Fortis continued their embrace.

Finally they separated and everyone looked around the cave a moment more and seeing nothing else of interest, they all returned back to the castle where King Bardus and the residents of Somnium were awaiting their heroic return.

The moral of the story ? You cannot see the light of truth from the shadow of assumptions.

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© 2013 dw817

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annie lee

This is wonderful! It is expertly told, and the satire shines through like a beacon!
It has the delightful feel of a Monty Python skit. The vain knight is hilarious. A fractured fairy tale often tells the truth better than others. Read my Jabberwocky story "Miffling in the Meadow" for another tale of a knight an d dragon. This was delightful. cheers.