the letter

The letter..

When I think of you, at times I smile. I think of the wonderful times you have had. I think of things seen, learned and forgotten. I think of your smile, the true smile that you keep hidden from the masses; only to be shown to a select few. 
I think of roads you have traveled and those met along the way, both sides making an impression, good and bad. 
I think of your ability to love and trust. I think of your need to be strong and move forward. 

I think of many things when I think of you. Most recently, I think of a day many years ago, the day when you held your first born and wondered if you could be everything he needed you to be. Looking back, you realize that years have passed but it was only a moment ago. Time has passed in a blur, the present is but a dream and the future is a bull charging the matador's cape. 

Memories flood your mind, bringing back your past like a movie playing in your mind. Frames of vivid color mixed with frames in black and white. Sounds of a life lived and not lived create the soundtrack. You fast forward, rewind, pause and play in slow motion. You laugh, you cry... your heart sings and your soul feels a chill. You see life through your own eyes. You miss things along the way but, you catch a lot. Your view is different, some say skewed but its yours and that makes you unique. 

You were a number at times, you were the only at times. You have regrets but you also have proud moments. You have hidden from yourself and others but, now you stand in your own light. While there are still moments in the fog, you seem to see through it and find your way. 

You have learned to let go and open your book, allowing all to examine your pages. To some a joke.... to others an insight... to you a step forward...

Not conforming to the socially acceptable etiquette of self restraint, I write this letter to myself