Chapter 6

Journal. 26 Days Remaining.

I'm still working past the whole, 'Beth is here,' idea. I was always under the impression that she was good. But good was all I thought of her. Not this good. It makes me wonder what she went through these past years. She is here. Of course she's here. That's my luck. Beth is in the one place that I escape. Escape from the thought and memories of her. No more safe zones. No more running from her. She is here. In the flesh, like literally here. What am I doing? Beth is here. She is hard not to look at. Why did I just write that? But, I suppose it's not a lie. She's beautiful. In every way. Except for the way that makes her a lying, deceptive, daughter of Quill.

die. die. die. die. One of us should just die, that's what we are here for anyway. Maybe it would be easier than dealing with the pain of seeing her than knowing I never would again. Yeah, she hurt me, yeah, she made me into someone I never wanted to be with what she did, but it's still Beth. She's still Beth.

I still remember. Of course, I still remember. It's Beth. If I ever forgot about her, I would also forget myself. I still see. Of course, I still see. It's Beth. If I ever stopped seeing her, I myself would no longer exist. I still care. Of course, I still care. It's Beth. If I ever stopped caring about her, it would be the end of me. I still want her. Of course, I still want her. It's Beth. If I ever stopped wanting her, I would no longer be me. I still love her. Of course, I still love her. It's Beth. If I ever stopped loving her.... I wouldn't.

Being me, is loving Beth. I made a promise to her, I would never stop caring. I don't care because of the promise, I care because she's still Beth. Part of me will always be hers, but it may be better to feel that way from a distance. She's still Beth. She's still dangerous, deadly even. Beth is Beth. And Beth is not a normal girl.

Anderson J. Rockwell.