no cream or sugar, please

no cream or sugar, please

 

 

spread as thin as a light jam

on toasted thoughts,

the words swirl like slippery butter

but don't stick, 

 

the sliding pendulum of creativity

eats breakfast elsewhere,

so i just smoke my cigarette

down to the last gasp of ash

 

and put out the stub of a poem

that almost found its way,

further than the ashtray

of my exhaled etymology

containing roots of inspiration

 

which led me to believe

i was more than a shallow cup of coffee,

without the diffusion of theme

to lighten my black mood.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/5/16

Reviews

[Solar]

/i was more than a shallow cup of coffee,
without the diffusion of theme
to lighten my black mood./

No buttery words - here, nor is it a jam session - 'no diffusion of theme' - what has to be expressed is like an espresso - very concentrated no 'cream or sugar'. All the verses flow smoothly in making this a poem to savour!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind with your review, Solar...
thank you much.

[ms. barrie]

very thought-provoking, wistful poem...i see this as someone desperate for
a transition, a break-through, not only in seeking new inspiration but
new, less chaotic storms. a very relatable, elegant ink..
i sense a longing, one's heart looking back towards the past, yet
the mind searching for a new landscape *at least that's the feeling i get
while reading this*

either way, i love the lines:
and put out the stub of a poem
that almost found its way,
further than the ashtray
of my exhaled etymology
containing roots of inspiration ---

incredible wording and imagery. again, i love your choice
of title for this...amazing write...i thank you for sharing, Sir!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

especially thank you for the title comment...the poem came out pretty easily, the title, not so...i really battled with a few different ones and finally set on this one...thank you for your kind review barrie...

j.

[ms. barrie]

you're very welcome, jacob! your words *poems* always leaves a lasting impression on me.
i find the title very befitting tho i prefer my coffee with lots of cream and sugar
*switched to tea and honey, health thing lol* -- looking forward to re' visiting more of your art
~ x - barrie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and in truth? i had one sip of coffee in my life...

[ms. barrie]

oh wow, i love coffee but i'm trying to cut back on my in take of sugar/dairy.
still, i love the title! -- wishing you a serene weekend :)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

by the way, really love your new avatar...great pic.

[ms. barrie]

Thank you, Jacob...very kind of u to say so! ((((: