petrified rain

petrified rain

 

 

 

drift would

can't get passed, damned up tears

 

voluptuously volcanic eruption

of words,

 

stymied

with incestuous influence

 

they are too close to me

to touch,

 

the keys

stand naked before me

almost begging

 

but i have to move past the emotions

with only slightest sigh

 

leaving the urge

unsatisfied.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/13/16

Reviews

[Érenn]

Feelings shined through the poem, and i loved it a lot. I really liked the way this whole thing was presented. Less is more, yeah i really have to give that a try sooner than later. ^^

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Errenn...

j.

[A hare off]

Feelings and emotions on lock down, rock hard, unbreakable and stubborn almost. Resisting the urge definitely can leave us unsatisfied. Great poem Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, A hare.

j.

[Carolynn]

I think a good cry is helpful and healing - let those dammed tears out wood you :) great poem Jacob and great play on words!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

:)))

thank you for your words, Carolynn.

j.

[dan]

There are a few ways this piece can be viewed, owing to the words carrying two meanings (or spellings). Petrified can mean scared or wood compressed to rock-like state; then you use the words would instead of wood, passed instead of past. A lot of elements of nature present, yet the word 'keys?' A piano?
Words can come to a writer like torrential rain or hung frozen in the mind, like icicles...I'm going to have to come back to this and try reading it again. But I love poetry that causes my brain to work overtime (time-and-a-half?). Very well written, jacob! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting, maybe could be a piano..a song...i held the keys of the computer in my mind while writing it...thank you for your kind review, dan.

j.

[Solar]

Petrified rain - like hail-stones, striking in its word-play - the naked force pent rather than penned...perhaps will be more forceful when finally it lets the verse flow!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

clever word play! ... third verse is a shocker ... our inside world (self on self) is as incestuous as it can get i guess ..whew! ... how many "urges" left unsatisfied for lack of pen and/or paper to jot it down ... erupting before one can pull off the road to explode ... what a great poem ..very cool man! :)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

For me, this describes that urge to write the emotions down, but you are not sure how to do it, so you let the moment pass. As always, simplicity, clarity, and brevity -- a standout in the crowd.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, KL.

j.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Oh those damned up tears! It would indeed be satisfying to get them out, but they are too close to touch. Your poem has made mine prickle in my eyes. Very emotive poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Aunt Astri.

j.

[Cassie]

Damn!! I feel this way too, cant even seem to put brakes on dem tears

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for relating, Cassie.

j.

[JayceeC]

Uhg, I hate this feeling. In my case the wood eventually rots so the dam breaks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah, yes, can't withstand the elements and eventually wears out...thank you, Jan...appreciate your words,
j.