when you can't say no

inspired by barleygirl's "just say no" but in a bit of a different direction....

when you can't say no

your skin as white 

as a pure line of cocaine

and the effect as enchanting

your eyes are pools of LSD

i want to trip into the enlightenment

and carry your flowers in my mind

a meth methodical breakdown of will

i am hooked on the deluge,

the flood of commitment i cannot still

rehab might be the only solution

but i am in constant confusion

because you are my prescription

and my heart says i can't quit you

though my reason, is needling me

to get clean.

erin-cilberto

3/12/16

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Love! This write resembles a few guys I know! *tee! hee!* Very nice "drug" references thru-out, stirring memories of tripping with flowers in my hair, back in the day. Love "meth methodical breakdown" & of course the slightly corny, but effective ending: "needling me" . . . hilarious & a fitting rebuttal for my poem. So glad to have such fun on WritersCafe! (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your comments and for the inspiration...and yes, i am corny...i admit it.

read morethank you for your comments and for the inspiration...and yes, i am corny...i admit it.

:)

j.

[dan]

jacob, a 'drugs of abuse' metaphor illustrating the level of devotion one holds for another, an unbreakable habit of love. In a successful (or obsessive) relationship such displays of total commitment can truly become addictive. Splendid write! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, dan.

j.

[V]

I love how you play with, you connect words to create those awesome images.
(But I have to complain a little: You beat me to it, I actually planned to write a similar piece but you were first. I feel slightly intrigued)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Vanessa, for your kind words...and mmm...i have those twilight zone moments often...we were thinking the same thing...where is Rod Serling when we need him?

[V]

^^ I only seem to experience those twilight moments with fellow writers. Maybe because we have a similar way of thinking.