Mother

Mother

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

Mother

 

 

so many years after umbilical longing

cured fevers,

disappointed looks,

and fervid smiles

 

she is cold now 

in ashed resplendence 

but not with frosted gaze at me

 

there is a sort of celestial

repose

in her deliberation...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/19/19

© 2019 jacob erin-cilberto


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"Umbilical longing" (brilliant word crafting) describes how much I was "taken in" by my mom's way of controlling/manipulating people. I used to say "mother" in a longing way, when life went s****y, as if I were invoking her in my time of need. The other day I said "mother" and realized there is no emotion in the word for me at all. (This happened years before she died two months ago). Your poem is a chilling depiction of how I feel about "mother" (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Months Ago

thank you, Margie...you relate...my mother did her best in her way...she loved how she could...
read more
This caused some pangs…

You know some of my history and my mother's place in it. We never stop wanting the approval and validation of the people who raised us. Mother passed last October. My greatest regret and, at the same time, deepest relief is that it when she knew the end was near she validated my experience and apologized. I'm glad she didn't pass with that between us. But, a lifetime without it still leaves me pining for the mother she wore as a mask for the world.

Posted 4 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Months Ago

sometimes we just hope for a reckoning to even the slate...and sometimes maybe we expect too much fr.. read more
MomzillaNC

4 Months Ago

👍🏻 😎
"she is cold now
in ashed resplendence
but not with frosted gaze at me"

Brrrr! My own mother was quick to judge my life/decisions/food choices and very slow (usually none) with praise or approval.

However, in death, she has told me numerous and in many ways that she considered me a competent, intelligent adult as I am sole heir and executrix of her estate with more than a few rather "sensitive" final wishes and directives. Vindication doesn't always come when you think you need it....



Posted 4 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Months Ago

Yes, we get validation, finally....but all those years without it...i appreciate you sharing here, C.. read more
my mother departed in an unpleasant manner, but although she was technically still my mother, that is not the mother I remember

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for sharing how you related, john...sorry it brought you back to a bad place..
j.
The bond is unbreakable; time no more than an abstract concept as far as mother and child are concerned. It is the great glue that binds our civilisation, and you have to believe it does not end simply because the physical presence has journeyed to the next level.

This is a poem that touches deeply; and I am minded of the longing in my father's eyes when on occasion, (not terribly often,) he talks to my sister and I about his mother.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

wow, yes, it does not end, ever..thank you so much for your words, Beccy,
j.
You do something outrageous, and then the voice comes through.
That wasn't very smart, was it.
Stop looking down on me, I'm an adult.
Not from where I'm looking.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

i can hear saying exactly that...
yep..
thank you, Paul for reminding me of her voice... read more
Though many an umbilical cords are cut the mother holds that special place in the memory book of life. The nurturing: the joy the tears. Beautiful, meaningful piece Jacob. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you, Kitty, appreciate your words,
j.
kitty

9 Months Ago

My pleasure!
Us, who love to write. Keep memories and faces alive. Your poem accomplished this Jacob. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

we cannot forget those we love...hopefully the words will etch them forever in our hearts.
th.. read more
Coyote Poetry

9 Months Ago

I believe the words are and you are welcome Jacob.
I love this poem.Jacob, an absolutely beautiful portrait of mother!

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you, Mrudula...
j.
You made her immortal today by writing this....
Us children are too annoying toward the caring mothers at times or always...again, we realise that living is way too hard without parents' shade upon us.....Endless love and respect to all the moms out there....and prayers for your beloved mom, ameen..


Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you so much for your kind words Tahsin,
j.

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Added on February 20, 2019
Last Updated on February 20, 2019

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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