writing snow blind

writing snow blind

 

 

sniffing cocaine in Spokane

white christmas in july of 1991

coming completely undone

 

the table lines being drawn

powdered pathetic scent scintillating

eyes dilating

in dandy peripheral

 

laughing at poems

on the window

invisible writing pelting the glass

fragile mind at work

daring the edge to come

 

an out west dream of utopia

shot out of a needle

potent mixture,

elevation

the mountain moves with each intake

and my climbing shoes are slipping

with each peek into my future

 

i never really get presents i want at christmas

maybe a few pills in my stocking

to tide me over

until the big unwrap.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/1/19

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

i enjoy the word play and symbolism in this... the edge is a lovely place to visit but i look forward to the shower afterwards... the luxury of which has not escaped me i have slipped over a few times and somehow was lucky enough to get a hand back up! divine intervention... who knows but many i have known over the years weren't as lucky as I... the dark can be a place of comfort in the numb evisceration of self for the sake of the glean to the great unwrap. i had to save this write to examine it more closely and i must say you packed a lot in these few lines

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you very much for your kind review, Bad bunny,
j.

[kentuck14]

I once asked a psychologist friend of mine why so many creative people seem to have lived in dangerous and destructive ways . . . drugs, booze, promiscuity, etc. He said the results were only anecdotal and there is no real scientific evidence. I say bull to that! Creative folks seem to often suffer with anxiety, depression, etc. I myself suffered with clinical depression in the late 70's, early 80's. Although I hesitate to label myself as creative . . . I do have a bent in that direction. Used hashish while in the army . . . can't say it ever helped my poetry . . . too busy being paranoid!

I think artists, writers, poets do look for ways to get beyond their earthly limitations, their own mental abilities to get somewhere deeper into the heart of human experience. But any artificial means is a fool's errand. And/or perhaps such behavior is a result of trying to reach that desired state of creativity and feeling like a failure. Jacob, I see this in your line, "I never get presents I want at Christmas/maybe a few pills in my stocking/to tide me over."

Although I find this poem haunting, it is well written. "an out west dream of utopia." Again, a striving for artistic perfection, hoping to get to the top of the "mountain" that always stays one step ahead. "shoes slipping." Sounds like human feet to me!

One of the things that has helped me in my quest at poetic perfection is to realize there is no such animal! I finally threw away any illusions of glory as a poet . . . just kept reading more and more poetry, studying it , writing it, revising it . . . revising again . . . revising until . . . well . . .
not perfection . . . but it got me further than just dreaming (or using drugs, etc.) Hey, I'm not a saint . . . nor am I a great poet. But I do find writing poetry more fulfilling these days.

Jacob, don't know if this is written out of experience or imagination . . . but it tells a terrifying tale of frustration taken to the limit and a very possible endgame.
Tom

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing this incredible review...so many insights...and so much sharp philosophy....we can only try to write our best...artificial ways to get there...not worth it.
thank you,
j.

[kentuck14]

thank you my poet friend from the Bronx.

[Onlyme]

Wow, what an articulate, open and honest, frank poem about indulging in cocaine to open the mental waves inside your mind to creativity and exploration on a deeper level. And how it affected you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dawn...appreciate your kind review,
j.

[Onlyme]

My pleasure. Exceptional poetry as always from you Jacob. :)

[john l smith]

Alcohol has been my only dream drug, thankfully born too late for drugs.
You have captured the effect here

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, john...
j.

[Corset]

I always found that the hardest thing about relationships, what to get them as gifts on the occasions, you ask and they will never tell you exactly what they want, and they never get what they really want, they want you to know them well enough to give the perfect gift, surprise me with socks lol. I can't tell you the amount of tool sets I have bought in my lifetime because they will never say can you fit Marilyn Monroe in that stocking? (ha!) I love the old lodge feeling I get with this, the ski trips, the drugs, the impromptu poetry slams I hope it was at least an easy pill to swallow my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, and the smile, Corset...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Wow, the imagery you have given me with this write is so vivid Jacob I can barely put two words together. All I can do is see and feel. Many have experimented with drugs to enhance their experiences for the sake of creativity. I found this poem both powerful and fragile at the same time.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Chris,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

I suppose all forms of creativity come from triggers whether natural or artificially induced. A power write J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Wow j., this is such real, powerful, idyllic and (possibly) personal writing. The first verse particularly, and all the rest, are lyrics that sing themselves. So smart, so ‘in the pocket’ and authentic. Creative and enhanced has a good rock and roll feel to it. Great imagery “utopia shot out of a needle”- walk on the wild side. Wonderful language, musicality, rhythm, mood. Master Class again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Annette,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many great writers were on something be it alcohol or mescaline or cocaine. Heaney, Stevenson, Huxley, Hunter S. Thompson, Jean-Paul Sartre, Ken Kesey, Tennessee Williams, Dylan Thomas, Stephen King etc. A link perhaps between fragility and creativity. As always put in blindingly amazing verse filled with those rascally allegories.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, John,
j.