Long-Winded Poem

Long-Winded Poem

 

'

 

 

elongated lies

a circumcision of truth

soul's shadow dispersed

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/6/19

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

The more they talk, the less they say ... and what they do say makes little sense. A snippet of truth stretched to fill the void is all we get ... that and hot air.
The only item left to bargain with is the soul and it is torn asunder and dispersed among the shadows, and still they stand there telling us they know best.

A good bit, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Ted,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I see this as a beautiful release of what has weighed one's soul down so heavily, that long shadow being blown to the wind.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that...thank you, Linda...appreciate your words,
j.

[Paul Bell]

Sounds like the perfect poem to me.
Truths and lies hiding in the shadows, or a politician buried deep but not really deep enough.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, Or that......exactly...
thank you, Paul,
j.

[gram linski]

I felt it was quite heavy and loaded with too many words, a tad long winded,, but an excellent effort in the four word haiku misquoting " leap
splash
a frog "
:}

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, gram....i will try to shorten the next poem a bit...:))))
thanks....
j.

[gram linski]

my pleasure j. if you could sum up life , the Universe and everything in two words, that would be good for me,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

okay, that's my next endeavor...ha ha.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

For some reason this made me think of Fleetwood Mac's Sweet Little Lies. Elongated gave me the impression of untruths told over a period of time and the circumcision indeed a very personal and painful experience leading to a feeling of depersonalisation. A sad senryu packing a pithy punch Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, John....and I do love that song.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

the shadows of our misdeeds prevails as long as we persist in them eh!? pointed truth in this senryu sir ... the foible of lies uncovered ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

A snip of a poem. Ouch. Both clever and painful, but maybe the penny dropped. I saw enlightenment here. Well done Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Chris,
j.