i remember a woman once

i remember a woman once

 

 

sever the expenses

the cost of you too high

balance lost in the tide

 

i was the sandcastle

you invaded with swells of love

so strong

you left nothing in your wake

 

except one small tower

to which the drawbridge

was broken.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/4/2020

Reviews

[jen]

reading through your poems (which I identify with --but keep editing and rewriting my comments in my head)... I really connect to your words. this one is so simple and beautiful.. the bridge-less tower that that stands in the aftermath of love that still is there but having lost it's connection is left to rebuild. Really loved this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, jenny.
j.

[h d e rushin]

this picture introduces us to how we piece together our dreams before the torpid, negligent state of slumber drags us off. "In which the drawbridge was broken" is slowed down willingness and the magic of poetry time where distance and longing is a method of reckoning; of which the sweven ,somnolent beauty of this colors the town.....lovely....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, dana,
j.

[BLACKCRUSH]

"you left nothing in your wake
except one small tower
to which the drawbridge
was broken."
This makes me think of waiting for a type of love that may never return...and even if new love presents itself not being able to allow it inside. Really excellent work, this made me think a lot

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really like where you took this, BLACKCRUSH,
thank you,
j.

[Patricia]

How lonely that tower must be? I would say peaceful in my case. This poem makes me wonder off in imagining the writers time in that tower. I love this piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Pat.

j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Remembering love that swells with the tide; strong, leaving nothing undone. But then the drawbridge breaks, the love that was binding was washed away; only a remnant of it left, the small tower.
A lovey metaphorical way of describing broken love. Really liked this one Jacob. As always,
Best, Betty

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Betty...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Almost a tsunami here, not must left in its wake to remember in a positive light. Devastation evident.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

perhaps, yes...very little for the positive light.
thank you, Chris.

[John the Baptist]

Yes, love can be like a swelling tide, lifting you with it. On the other hand, it can also leave high and dry and lonely. Be thankful for that one little tower. It could be worse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am thankful there was a tower once...:)))
thank you, John.
j.

[Hayllie]

It's funny how some relationships can seem like such traumatic storms or even a hurricane, but you can't ever seem to get over the pain that came with that storm! Very nice poem thank you for this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, even a hurricane...thank you for your kind words, Hayllie,
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

The reckless heart a true force of nature. Excellent poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Cherrie, you are a kind soul.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Now, that's some woman!
Obviously, your small, desolate tower is a haunted monument to She Who Cannot Be Equaled.
Impressive write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy,
j.