Poem

Poem

Let me crash on your schizophrenic couch

you take the bed of lies

i'll pick roses from your tattered lips

i love your crazy

i love your chaotic peace

you seem to sleep through your disaster

this pillow is rather hard on my heart

do you have a softer after effect

to the suspiration you extend?

i would rather

the roses close within themselves

beauty is a liar

close the door to your room please

don't need to see you scream

it's the ugly truth of you

that i love most.

erin-cilberto

11/26/2020

Reviews

[Laz K.]

I love paradoxes in general, and I love them in this poem in particular (chaotic peace/sleep through your disaster / pillow is rather hard on my heart / ugly truth of you that i love most)

Life itself is paradoxical - not to mention love.
This poem keeps flipping everything upside down in an attempt to readjust the reader's vision, so that he/she might get a more accurate view of the conflicting realities of love.

(I talked a lot, but did I say anything? :))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You said "lots" and I appreciate your kind words, Laz,
j.

[Lorry]

And now I finally have a word for all those noises that escape me while life distracts the mind and leaves the mouth unattended, like ghosts of thoughts in thought. It even sounds like a compliment if anyone were ever to tell me how suspirating I am, I'd certainly thank them and ignore their derisive twitters 😊
Again Jacob, you make the world feel a much smaller place, as my mind wonders once more if we have yet another acquaintance in common 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

what did Steven Wright say? "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it"---
thank you, Lorry,
j.

[nval]

Mysterious, soft with a bitter end. Very nice job.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, nval,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... Madness runs in my veins... like candy canes on a
Christmas tree... sweet but not good for men or mice. Anyway,
I love your cliches like picking roses from your tattered lips.
May your Holidays be blessed with ginger cookies and pretty coquettes.
tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Pat.

Sometimes I think I am just a cliche...

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved this poem Jacob.
"Let me crash on your schizophrenic couch
you take the bed of lies
i'll pick roses from your tattered lips"
The above lines, I could write a epic story from. Thank you my friend for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

The way you tell stories, Coyote, I bet you could, and it would be a most interesting story for sure.
thank you,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this one Jacob and you are welcome.

[andrew mitchell]

What can I say I really enjoyed the sarcastic tones, a dry sense of humour and you could feel the frustrations of it all.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The good, the bad and the ugly. That's how any woman would want to be loved and I do believe there is a little of all that in most women, , yet alone the muse and where she leads you to. You never quite know where a poem is going to go. There was dark here, but there was love too.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Chris,
j.

[Neville]

...........just because the truth is ugly, why is everyone ganging up on us eh' .. I have been here before and loved you like crazy .. feels like a groundhog day..

N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, thank you, Neville...
I thought my title was "EXTREMELY" Creative...don't you? :))))

[Neville]

.. no less than absolutely :)

[Briana O'Connor]

I love the dark tone to this but yet there's a positive message here too. It's hard to love someone with mental health issues. Thanks you for sharing. Best wishes to you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Briana,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow this has a dark edge to it as I saw it through the fractured gaze of the schizophrenic as they watch their hallucinations and act on their delusions. I get the impression of someone intensely affected by another who has such conflicting feelings.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you , John, for your words,
j.