Suggestion Box

Suggestion Box

I am the poet critic

shield your ego

as this reader 

slams your poems into the wall

rapes them of metaphor

strips them to the bone

of muscle monotony

let us see what you were thinking when you wrote them

exactly

exactly

be the director

put us in our places

dictate our dialogue

after all 

we want your theme

to merit mutual applause

from the entire audience

they must leave in tears

they must have a consensus 

as to meaning,

shield your ego

I am about to rewrite 

your write

to make it right

for me

I am the poet critic

I own a piece of your soul

a  bit of your heart

and all of your poetry

Now, take that

advice

and from now on

just let me write the poems

you might try painting

houses

as your art.

because your poems need a second or third

coat

is your ego yet

intact?

if so,

my mission has failed

you are still writing.

erin-cilberto

12/6/21

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this Jacob
Excellent
Love the advice to paint houses lol
Very original
Good talking dialogue like a two way conversation with you and yourself with another writer he or she standing reading listening and can’t get a word in edgeways
great poem loved it !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Julie,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

No worries trust you are well Jacob

[Chris Shaw]

Ha, this is so amusing. I've known one or two in my time who have ripped my words to bits and not only that, appeared to get sheer delight from it. Nitpicking at every possible opportunity. Did it stop me writing? No, of course not. It could equally apply to ourselves. We are our own worse critics, and I know I have also ripped my work apart as well? Very thoroughly too on many occasions.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review and the smile, Chris,
j.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Jacob! :)
This "poem" really doesn't rhyme very well, but it sends a clear message; which I would agree with if you could trim the middle section and stretch out the ending a bit. And, maybe try to keep the lines the same length? Thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Well, Geez, matt...why don't you just rewrite it for me....ha ha...:))
thanks for the smile.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Even Kittens can leave their tracks on the Kitchen floor… that may be you at the door… with Cat Nip… ha ha … I adore Critics… Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, adore them...while I abhor them...

:)))))

[Betty Hermelee]

This is an hysterical bashing of one's poetry, as a reader of it, proposed to be a professional.... I love your dialogue and and "suggestions" for improvement.... all of it is so well done and I believe the poet says F--K you at the end and the suggestion box goes down the drain and the poet keeps writing.....
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we keep writing, I hope.
Got a rejection from a magazine once, hand written, just one word, "Nope"! didn't get over that one for awhile...how flip that editor was.
thank you, Betty, let me know which one line to keep here and how to rewrite the rest. :)))))))

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome J, great poem😊

[Patricia]

wow, no holding back in this one! well I do paint houses, well mine anyway and no ego here, good lord, I need his help writing yet I am still gonna write ;) and please do tear them down and rewrite them, they need help! all kidding aside I love this! suggestion box....gotta love them!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Do you paint Little Pink Houses?
Thank you for stopping by mine and for your kind comments.read moreDo you paint Little Pink Houses?
Thank you for stopping by mine and for your kind comments.
j.

[Patricia]

I am trying to get some more reading in and have promised myself to do so. See ya soon