the onomatopoeia of us

the onomatopoeia of us

 

 

 

love is two poems

meeting in the aisle

of the grocery store

 

sharing a cart of keepsakes

and overpriced memories

that didn't seem so at the time

 

conversation rung up at the checkout 

smiles turn similes 

as it feels like yesterday

 

minus one option,

there is no sale

on what we had

 

just a dangling metaphor

of what we are now

two poems exchanging verse.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/12/21

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Food for thought..
Interesting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lisa,
j.

[Laz K.]

I like the mixing of the prosaic (grocery store) and the poetic (love). We create these categories as if they existed in separate universes, but they coexist in everyday life. Everything in life can be a metaphor, a simile. A shopping cart is a collection of memories one picks up in the supermarket of life; some items are thrown in there on an impulse, and later maybe regretted. At the end of the day, we all come away with some wholesome, nourishing stuff, and perhaps some unhealthy choices.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your line of thinking on this piece...but then, your reviews are always so thoughtful and insightful.
thank you for visiting my work, Laz.
j.

[MomzillaNC]

I love the poems. But sorry, I cannot identify the onomatopoeia. Help, please. What is the sound you are making?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the sound of what we were....once.
still rings out like onomatopoeia...poetic justice, maybe, maybe, maybe. But the whole poem sounding like what we are now.
thank you, Momz,
j.

[MomzillaNC]

Oh. Cool. Sorry. My brain's not a full tilt right now. My dad just passed and my son's been exposed to someone who tested positive.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am so sorry about you losing your father...and hope your son will be okay...
Is your mother still alive?
I lost mine in 2014 and Dad in 2017....
I miss them so much, but am glad in a way that they did not have to suffer through this pandemic...
my dad was tough...lived to almost 98,...my mom to 92, but she was sick a lot the last couple years and she would have been so susceptible to the Covid.
I will say a prayer for your son...and one for your dad.
j.

[MomzillaNC]

One of my sisters passed in 2016 (You may have read my poem "Joseph's Angel" about her). Mother passed in 2019. Honestly, my father's been ready to join her since she passed. He was so tired and only holding on for my other two sisters. When he finally became bedridden recently, he decided to stop dialysis for his end stage CKD without opposition from them at last. It's hard to let him go. But, I'm glad he was able to carve out what dignity he could in his passing.

My son's rapid antigen test came back negative. He's still going to get the regular lab test, but that won't be back before the 27th because of the holiday. We're fairly confident he's clear. His exposure was on Monday and he's remained symptomless, plus we have the negative on the rapid test. His friend's mother tested positive on Monday; his friend tested positive on Tuesday but didn't start symptoms until late Wednesday. My son and the other friend who was with them have both tested negative; the other friend -- whose parents wouldn't let him get vaccinated -- has lab tested negative four times.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did love this poem Jacob.
"just a dangling metaphor
of what we are now
two poems exchanging verse."
The above lines are perfect. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Might not two poems, exchanging verse, somehow change the universe? Song is more than melody. Perhaps together they shall learn each other's words. Delightful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Perhaps they might...thank you, Fabian,
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

The sound of us. Two side by side like the letters. Hmmmm. You never fail to get me thinking.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Bill.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

I'm dangling on that metaphor. Two poems in love. Blue light special on memories. Did you meet your love at the grocery store? I'm gonna go look up that three bit word in the title....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ha ha.....I'll never tell.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Different . I like the way you talk about a past relationship . It's a vary fitting description for store talk is a really good metaphor. Well penned. Tyfs

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Cyprian,
j.

[Patricia]

The past is part of who we are and is priceless even when it feels worthless. I really like this one, I had sometimes wished I would run into one of those but not so much now. ;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe we could have cart fights in the aisle...:)
thank you, Patricia,
j.

[Patricia]

Anytime my friend! ;)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh this is spectacular Jacob. I especially like the metaphorical reference.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dale,
j.