that sound

that sound

 

 

my blood like a gurgling brook

rampages at the sight

of your embedded irises

 

rising towards me, surreptitiously

agonizingly shy

the blood runs faster

 

I dip my toes in conversation

you respond like a whirlpool magician

my aggression disappears

 

into a calm swirl of feeling

we touch hands

I am stilled

 

and years later

you are still here

and I have become a glassy surface

 

fragile, breakable

tenuously holding faith

then you glance at me

 

the blood's impetus

reinvents itself

an old gusher

 

we become the sea

we dreamed

tributaries of love.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/10/22

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Sweet memories of bygone times
a fondness of that special someone
from the past brought to the fore
a well penned and lively piece of poetry

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Fran,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Something wss certainly happening here. It appears another had much influence. An ability to soothe and calm in earlier years. A reflection perhaps on a past love, her memory still being able to bring a little magic. There is a whole lot of love here that's for sure J, when you think about her.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Chris,
j.

[Ranger Kessel]

As always a bed at read. Don't stay in the past too long we will miss you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ranger...:)))

[John the Baptist]

Some memories are better than others. When the thought of another can raise the consciousness like this one apparently does, living in the past can be a pleasurable experience. Just don't stay there. Great imagery in this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nope, can't stay there ever, but the past gives us words for the present. Thank you, John,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wow.... how true ... touching in the Blue waters of the Tributaries in the mysteries of the Sea. I am acquiring an attitude of Peaceful feelings... as we carry our Past within our Present. I always knew that we help each other the Most when we love and spend time with another. No need for forgiveness as each person has a choice.. Some people are gifted to contribute in different ways. Our World could be Rich without Wars if only we Believed in each other. tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it could be very rich....we wouldn't know how to spend all the love and peace.
thank you, Pat,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I love all the water metaphors here like a gurgling brook on each line they amazed me
I read it three times and in third read I realised the irises were indeed flowers on the river bank and not eyes as I had first read them to be

What a beautiful poem loved it Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Nice catch, Julie...
appreciate your words,
j.

[LJ]

Quite a voyage you take us on here! I was a bit taken aback at the beginning, unsure of 'embedded irises,' but I quickly got over that as you took us with you, falling in love, being in love, loving completely into the embrace of not only each other but the sea, where all tributaries eventually go.
That evocation of water and its actions makes the poem speak for many. It goes beyond a personal remembrance and into a study of love and earth and what we do about both.
There are so many fragile things in and around us - will we find something/someone to hold onto, a glance that emboldens us? I think we all can see such a thing eventually, if we remain aware.
Fragility can be crippling, but it also says we're open to that which surrounds us, recognizing the sight of fragile things and people outside ourselves, and sometimes, hopefully, we act on them.
This is a poem that is readable on many levels, and so a success on all of them. Thank you.
LJ

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, LJ,
You really went in depth with your comments...

much appreciated,
j.

[LJ]

You're quite welcome.
LJ

[redzone]

"that sound", kinda reminds me of that Buffalo Springfield song... "hey, hey, time we stop, what's that sound, everybody look what's going down".... pretty cool protest song from back in the day....

one view of your poem might be a story of love unfolding and the consequences of opening ones heart to love, being overwhelmed by the oceans of emotions and then calmed after the blood cools down some....

anothe view makes this poem more metaphor for the wworld we face today, where "tributaries" each battle it out for dominance as the flow to the sea.... what's that sound is heard in the shouts of "hooray for our side"....

I like both views actually, especially since the modern view oof love is often over who is right, who gets to dominate... but in any case Jacob, I enjoyed reading your poem, enjoyed the way it takes the reader down one of these tributaries and into the ocean.... and might even convince the reader love is worth the effort.... even with the rapids and waterfalls...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, Curt...and yes, that song was and still is an anthem for us and our 60's----
Yes, there was "something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear"---
still isn't so clear is it? "singin' songs and a carryin' signs, mostly say hooray for our side"---
I like both avenues down which you took this.
j.